[zibTefapparia]

hi

i don't supress these feelings. i know i have them and they stem also from a harsh upbringing where my ability to analyze and try to understand why pple were doing these horrible things to me, turned into dispise. but there were also pple doing wonderful things, being supportive etc, but they never told the truth, or couldn't or didn't dare to.

then i remember myself doing really nasty things, i've not always known what i know now etc, i also was unconscious, afraid to say what i thought of fear for being rejected and outcast etc.

i allow myself to say "stupid idiots, they just live in denial" i don't want to see them anymore....but then i ask the universe for forgivness, i have flaws too, being disdainful is not a beautiful trait; it's understandable as a psychological defencemechanism from childhood, but becomes destructive if you let it rule your adult life. but it's better to acknowledge it; otherwise you supress it and it will be even more destructive, what you don't acknowledge, you can't change.

liliane