[mr.supervideogoodfd]

hey dab, no problem, one thing i am, is an open book. i was in the back seat of my fathers '67 gto, sweet car, and i looked out the window to my right. we were driving on a hyway going from elgin ill. to our home in dundee ill. i noticed what appeared to be a very large, dull, dark colored cylindrical object, in the sky, maybe 20-30ft above a small strip mall. the last thing i remeber was thinking how strange it was. i remember trying to ask my parents if they saw it and i couldn't speak.........that's all i remember. now i've had lot's of dreams of ufo's and whatnot, none of which were frieghtening, but this event scared the **** out of me. always has. right now i'm on night 3 of what iv'e termed night terrors. wake up, scared damn near to death, just drenched in sweat, maybe some other fluids too, but we wont go into that. lol! i'm not one who scares easily either. i've had some greetings from some shall we say not so pleasent feeling entities also, quite recently. i just thanked them for there presence, and asked if there was anything i could do to teach them of the love of the creator! and they leave in a flash! not sure if this will continue to work, but it has so far. i think the key is to focus on not feeding it if it is of a negative polarity. it just doesn't feel right becase it's not invited, at least to my conscious knowledge. i think i might have picked up a straggler. who knows, i'm new to this game. all i know is my life has changed dramaticly in syncronistic way's i never dreamed possible. sorry about the grammer, can't blame it on ethnic differences, just ignorance! lol anyway i've been pursuing the path of healing since i was 21. ended up in the local hospital's mental ward on a suicide attempt, after 7yrs. of drug and alcohol abuse. all to try to forget the incident and abuse that occured when i was 5yrs old. i did eventually tell my parents but they didn't beleive me on either acount. i knew very early i was alone and didn't fit in. it's funny, to this day when i recount that age, a pain develops in my back, the body never lies about these things, the mind on the other hand....... i have resonated to the law of one teachings of ra a lot longer than i realized. i don't know if people know this, but i'm told edgar cayce gave bill wilson, cofounder of a.a., the 12step program in a reading he did for bill. the 12 steps was my first introduction to a spiritual program. and of course we know who edgar's source was for his readings. after 7 yrs i grew tired of a.a. and went seeking elsewhere. i met a wonderful group of native american midawen men, who took me under their wing(they were mostly eagle people accept the 4th level midawean man who was named wirl wind) the healing bear lodges they taught me about and allowed me to enter, were some of the most comforting times in my life, then of course, as alway's i had a dream that i was supposed to fast for an answer for, but before i could be taken on my vision quest, my teacher got drunk and went back to his reservation in northern wisconsin. not before i received my spirit name in a ceremony. hence my handle, my true spirit name is ganu meegwenun innini, or eaglewingman, and since the ceremony was on 10-13-95, i like to remember the 13th day. anyway more presently, i had started studying around 2002, and then my mother in law died in 12-13-2003, that hit me hard. i loved her dearly. oh and not to downplay but each of my children followed thier old man with suicide attempts of thier own! thank god know one was successful. my father then died, very unexpectedly, very abruptly in the very early morning hours of 12-21-05! i had the honor of kissing him on the forehead as he passed to other side, while telling him i love him, it's ok, ill take care of mom, she was hysterical of course. that was the jolt to end all jolts! i freaked! lost 45 lbs, in the next year, and on 12-21-06 had my herniated embylical (2nd chakra blockage big time!) repaired. on 2-26-07 realized there was no way in hell i could stand another moment of life with my wife of 12yrs. in mexico, oh those crafty myans!lol! still trying to sell my house, damn housing bubble! lol! went through hell last summer, depression, depression, depression. fell in love with another woman, more depression, (she doesn't love me, ha!) then the most remarkable thing happened on 09-22-07. my heart opened up at you ready for this, 11;11 a.m.! lol give me a break. i had what i call the 12 days of bliss. october brought a brief sexual interlude with my love. december brought denial from her, and having no place to live on, you guessed it 12-21 needless to say on 12-22 i came the closest to having a drink in 24yrs. had my hand on the bar door, had my order in mind. double shot jack daniels and a miller genuine draft(to prime the pump!) i had a moment, standing there, turned around, got in my truck, went to my mothers house instead. shaking the whole way, she latter kicked me out too! day before christmas, lol, this is so funny, i almost die laughing when i look back. didn't at the time of course. that brought me to seeing an add for the concsious life expo in l.a. i knew the moment i saw it i had to go. after all david was going to be there. buy the way, i printed shift of the ages out, and have it in two, 3 ring binders, affectionatly named "the black book" and "the blue book" of course can't get another soul around me to get past the intro in the first book, but ive read it 3 times!! so feb, i find myself on a plane to l.a. needless to say more life changing events that made the 12 days of bliss seem like kindergarten! i came back from there, with the strangest feeling. i realized human beings give off energy, and i could feel it. holy ****! so, more reading and rereading, ra material, a wanders handbook,(oh my god!) and a few other things, ......so now i'm here..........supposed to get up to go to work in 2 hrs, instead i'm writing a novel to galactic, time traveling, possibly alien, wanderers, all so i can avoid being tortured in my sleep, by god knows what, so i can learn how to reflect love to a world of people, who don't care much less give a ****!! and i'm finding it humorus(if i could spell) and having the time of my life doing it, oh yeah for the best part, all so i hopefully don't have to repeat this all this crap for another 75,000 yrs! lol! no, really i'm fine! dandy, just peachy!!! seriously, i wouldnt' trade my life for all the money in the world! life is a grand adventure! now, off to get the **** scared outa me lol! peace, ya all, and much love and light to ya! (i gotta admitt, i'm a little nervous about that 51 percent 49 percent split. i really do kinda enjoy pushing that 49 percent sts thing a little far!lol!) good night