[Hitfaromarf]

i find within myself i have an inner turmoil that is still so present, its like an inertia, which no matter how hard i try to shake it off it returns, like waves. within this inetia is self destruction which the moment i become a little placid manifests itself in drinking, smoking, general abuse. why o why when i know the truth do i do this to myself?! i can absolutely relate to this. except my self destruction takes on other forms-
negative thinking, etc.