[Xibizopt]

okay so i thought i told kelly the other day that i was much more calm cool and collected than a year ago, but by the time i finished both your responses i was crying away!

thanks so much for your heartfelt responses. you guys have really helped me out.

i can only imagine mark what would have happened to james had you not been there for him.

throughout these years of extreme heartbreak for me expecting him to die at any time i can imagine the pain that would have caused you. i think my heart would have literally broken had i had to go through the same thing. you are very strong.

love and acceptance and support was always the rule, throughout all of this, and still is. that is so important.

he has met himself on his own terms, and has turned a corner you must be very proud. great picture of your kids. four boys, i'll bet it was a very quiet household (not).

it will be so nice to have this darn veil lifted so we can finally see the bigger picture.

i do try to offer my unconditional love and acceptance but i guess i just wonder what makes me the authority on what luke's "best interests" are. when he was little for sure, but now that he's getting older is it really worth the battle? believe me i have tried the calm and cool approach

you could still tell him what you think and put healthy boundaries, without getting upset in the first place.... and he just stays calm and cool himself and says "yes i'll get right on that " and then doesn't do what i have asked him to do. or just stands firm and says no. and he has paid the price for lots of his choices.

i believe that teenagers need rules and boundaries after all, they are still children and they are living in our homes. however, if you try to control them, they just rebel against you. it’s a fine line, isn’t it?
it is a fine line. he is not hurting himself or anyone else. his marks aren't great but he is passing everything. i'm pretty sure he's not going to go to university, but he may go to college. there is also a good chance that he may just move out west and become a ski bum like his parents did. i am fine with all of those choices.

i believe a soft approach with good values mixed in actually works well. that is so true. but what if he doesn't agree with my values? that is his choice. i guess the best i can do is the best i can do. and not beat myself up when he doesn't agree with me.

thanks again.

love megan