hmm i personally dont belive that anybody that has passed on (died) or lost in our relationship are really gone. they were there for a reason either for us to influence them in some positive way or (negative sometimes) that always results in some changes to them or to us. it is equally valid that they influenced us. again we are here to experience things and to learn from it. the bad part is when 'attachments' for as well as 'entitlements' aka 'needs' because this now becomes ego feeding instead of having a shared mutual fruitful experience it now becomes one sided. for me people who have passed on are never really gone and those no longer in a relationship with us would always define who we are. for me they can still be a part of my life through other means (mostly in dreams) as well as when i remember them. we are all part of one source so everything comes back to that, for me this is just a phase from ice to liquid to steam, its all the same thing. it does require a different world view to realize that eternity does not perceive time it just always is present forever, it is being in a 3d dimension that forces us to perceive time this way so we see loss in the past while in reality we are all in the presence of ternity just a matter of perception so the losses we have are not really gone and feeling otherwise is very selfish aka an sts situation.