[Ilaubuas]

yes, life can be hell at times. there, i said it and for me it was true in my own experience of experiencing a difficult heart melting experience such as alcoholism. i do believe our lessons (karma) are dealt with through our lifes, experiences, our relationships, our deep reflection of "know thy self".

i will tell you, that the words "unconditional love" are so very very true. it is the only salvation in these times of god's test of one another, i.e., our relationship with god and our relationships with one another.

webster: salvation - a saving or being saved; a person or thing that saves or rescures; the saving of the soul from sin and death, as, in christinity, by the the atonement of jesus.

i have had a personal experience, 8 years with my brother. i did everything from passing blame, try to support (hoping he would see the light), to trying to control another, to the big one, hard love, turning your back, which nearly ? us all. in my moments of digging deep for answers of self, i was shown the light on own own situation, truly:

it was all about loving someone else, unconditionally.... meaning, no conditions. but there was more that was shown, i saw my brother's own pain, his own suffering, the why's of trying so hard to get back his own love. he was trying so hard to be that loving person again, who he was when he entered life. he did not see it like that, but i saw it as clear as day. all of his actions, the drinking, the family fights, the disappointments, being jobless, homeless, was all related to trying to be again that loving person that he truly is but does not know how to get back to..

in his own guilt, shame, he lost his own self worth, his pride (ego), his trust of himself, and could not even see beyond an hour. he could not love himself. he lost his ability to trust, have faith and believe. nothing was natural, his own spark of light was out, he could not even think about loving another. his life became "conditional" and dependant on everything and he lost the only thing he has control of, is himself.

this was the hardest lesson for all involved. i am happy to say, much has changed. my brother is back on his feet., i truly truly, love him, unconditionally and see him for who he truly is, that divine spark of love and of god.

i see this spark of love in each person, each life here on earth. we are all first and formost, love, pure and simple love.

i tell him this every day, but not just words, i really mean it... i feel it deeply. and you know, i know he now feels the true, pure love i am giving him and he in return gives it back to me......and it is real, real, pure love from him. his trust is back, our trust is back, our faith is back and i believe in love, in god and all that is in front of us. i now have interest in his interest and don't judge, just be .

please read my other post on "be unconditional". i am feeling or experiencing the other side of love, the "can you be supportive, unconditionally". can you be a brother/sister unconditionally. this post is the flip side of giving and how we create fear through our actions, unknownly. i believe, our own part in this big plan on earth.

for those involved in this post, i send you my love. to all others experiencing those "dark" lessons, i send you my love. find for yourself, what the true meaning of "unconditional love" is and you will find your questions, answered. "know thy self"