[Ilaubuas]

i really feel for you and your dear friend. our family' own situation was at this level and it is such a hard hard road to be on and it hurts so deeply when all you want to do, is rescue everyone and pull them back out of the hole their hearts are in. it sounds like many hearts are feeling deep pain and fear is growing.

first, i have learned, as much sense as you are saying and making, the other person just can not hear it. it maybe his inability to see real love being said through your words or actions, but to him, it may feel false. he does not trust himself nor can he trust anyone close at this time. he is prob. feeling very judged, guilty and that no one understands what he feels or cares to understand, the false image, yet, it is not. he is judging himself so much, he can not even think of trust or loving himself.

from st. germain
your heart was in development and had wing-like fixtures, appendages upon either side, very much like a flying heart. from this development the fingers upon your arms and your hands, as it were. indeed, your arms and hands grew from your heart. this is what is meant by embracing, allowing the extention to bring forth re-countence with your soul through your heart. hugging is when you embrace... allowing the union of your embryonic understanding yet again.

perhaps, your friend can only feel at this time from you and other love ones that are close, give or send him a big hug from your heart ! this may sound silly to some, but it is a real act, not only for him, but for yourself.

affirm: help my friend find peace in his heart ---- to be and to be healed.

i am assuming you guys have tried to get him help. many states offer free treatment centers. check with your local aa groups. but again, it is up to this person to decide, take the 1st step and then follow through. it is scary and that 1st step is so hard, but when he is ready, he will find peace with this choice. your support, your prayers (thoughts) will go a long way, along with the hugs (if he will allow it)


the wife sounds like she is afraid and does not want to watch him die or kill himself. she in her own way is protecting her own heart and is at a lost as to how to help. i feel, deep down, she loves this man so much, but is hurts her by what has happen and now wathcing him slowly kill himself. she needs the support and understanding too, as you do.

you can only control yourself, but you have the choice to support and give of self as you can. this is so hard, i truly know how hard and painful beyond words.

i love you for being the person you are and being brave when you don't know the answers too. have faith, even when you don't seem to see it, believe that all is were it is suppose to be and keep your hope for self and your friends and family.

i will keep you in my prayers.. prayers are very very powerful, as you know, and sometimes this is were faith, hope and belief is all you can control in your life .....

peace in your heart, love in your life, hope for a times ahead. much love and rays of pink and rainbow light ! rhonda