[plaiskegizils]

dear friend, i received a call from a friend and i broke down to tears. i seem to be getting more and more sensitive and breaking down to tears. these days .i prefer the tears because the anger is too painfull. i believe that as we are in the radiation zone that david's theories indicate that our souls will also intensify in their receptivity and responses. this is going to cause some flooding , cleansing and perhaps at times overwhelming emotional upheaveal. it is a reflection of the very response's of our planet our " soul mother " for no other name . i believe we are experiencing the same radiation spiritually as we are physically. they are not separate. it means we need to help each other by holding hands like little children and holding on with love , forgetting the words and what not ,they are temporal; love , true love ,the genlte holding of the hands is far more effective and says much more what it means . i am here , i am with you , wait , relax and don't go running off to this or that. stay with me , i know what you need , i am here.

i am in some emotional pain and saddness, broken hearted. i went to see the chiropodist about my soles, dry , pained with the second digit and a fancy word pronation of my big digit toe.i broke down and cried to the chiropodist that what really is the matter is my broken heart! he listened so tenderly. i have no idea why i broke down in his presence. this seems to be happening to me often. it could be anticipatory grief , my dad is dying with pancreatic cancer and we can do nothing more for him. as well we have a long distnace relationship one that has healed with forgivness but functions best by phone . when he passes our mutual contract will be completed and i feel that there is no more that i want to live for , since so much of what i wanted was tied to the unfullfiled family life that was devasted by alcoholism,cancer, death, divorce and mental illness. our collective patterns were so shattering that i am undone as to what beauty there could be in such a shattering. yet beauty there is for they were all agreed upon contracts before this life to full fill this work for the most growth spiritually for all of us concerned. that baffels my consciousness, i could never dsay that till now! my soul can only weep as it needs too! sorrow and tears are gracious gifts of being true sorrow , not maudlin.
dear friend i pray we are onthe same page if not at least in the same canoe and if not we are near by any way i send my small hand out to you hold on we are going throught this together, hold my hand !
kenneths149