[arreskslarlig]

i have known my purpose for perhaps 4 or 5 years now. not a day goes by that i don't think of it, and yet i am not doing it.

my purpose must have been to have my soul brought to life, since when it happened i felt my life was complete, the rest frosting on the cake.

my purpose was no doubt to bring my children, all of whom are astonishing, into this world and support their spiritual path.

it seems almost certain that my son and i have a past life history. the life purpose i truly wonder about is his. who is he? where did he come from? he is no ordinary person.

he seems to have been born to uplift humanity.

when i pondered how i managed to incarnate into my birth family at first i was stumped. fully half are certifiably schizophrenic or similar disorders. i looked at my family when i was five and said to myself, if i am going to learn how to be in this world, i will have to learn from other people. trust me when i say my parents are thoroughly -but oh so uniquely insane. there was lots of sadness, some poverty, mild neglect and a good dose of fear growing up. my mother regularly threatened to kill us all.

however, there were saving graces. one, they are two of the most honest and ethical people i have known, two they are intellectual and serious, three they think for themselves, four, they granted us almost unheard of freedom on every level - physical, mental, spiritual.

my father was a reader of wilhelm reich and decided not to continue the legacy of sexual/emotional repression. my mother brought us into the russian orthodox church, a thing of great beauty with an air of holiness.