[Unrersvar]

back in '83, i was in a car accident and had a rib broken 1/2" from my backbone. they thought i had broken my back and i was taken to the hospital on a backboard.

when i found out how close i was to being paralyzed for the rest of my life, i lay in my hospital bed and asked the powers that be, "why me? why was i spared a life of handicap?" the answer i got took me by surprise!

the next day, i had several people call and tell me they were so glad i was okay. it seems that without me to talk to, they wouldn't know how to get through the day. one guy i worked with told me that if it hadn't been for me talking to him the day i met him, he had planned on committing suicide that night after he got off work. that was a real eye-opener, as i had no idea he had felt that way at the time!

i then realized that my purpose was to just "be there" for other people, to help them cope with this thing called life. i looked back on my life and realized that people came into my life at a low point in theirs, and when they no longer needed my help, they moved on, hopefully better than when i met them. i've let my higher self guide me to the people and places i need to be to help those that need my help. and i can tell when someone doesn't require my "services" any more.

why now? i think i came back for the big event coming up. i sometimes wonder why i should have been born in this era, when there are times in the past that i feel close to, such as ancient egypt. i feel that i have wrapped up my karma pretty well, and that this life may have been partly for the purpose of finalizing bad relationships with other souls from past lives.

why the family i was born into? i asked that question when i was about 5 or 6. i distinctly remember asking my dad if i was adopted, since i was so different from the rest of my family. he laughed and said no, i was theirs by birth, and showed me my birth certificate and that his and my mother's names were indeed on there as my birth mother and father.

however, i found out years later, when i was a teen, that my mom grew up in the spiritualist church, and believed in spirit guides. her family had a picture of them with their guides around them. my dad went to a photographer and had him take their family picture and superimpose other faces on it to show mom how that stuff is fake. it caused quite a rift, i guess, and shortly after i was born, dad had mom committed to a mental institution. i spent my first year of life with my grandparents. so i guess i bonded with them instead of my "real" family.

but even though i was brought up in a christian church with christian ideals, i knew something wasn't right there. mom believes in reincarnation, and talks i've had with her throughout my life have helped me to reach the point i'm at now, believing that we keep coming back "till we get it right", as she says.

so i think the reason i was born into this family was so i could see "both sides", so to speak. the christian religious side and the spiritual side. certain parts of the bible resonate, like the teachings of jesus, and certain parts don't. so i try to live by the parts that do.

a couple of years ago, i felt that i had taken care of the latest person to need my kind of help, and was waiting for the next one to enter my life. usually, there's very little time between broken souls. but there wasn't a new person entering my life, and i was trying to figure out if i needed to move to a different place to find the next one. it suddenly occurred to me, that the next one was me. i needed to make my life complete in some way.

after coming here, and reading the law of one, i now feel that i need to prepare myself for what's coming ahead. so i have been concentrating on making sure i am spritually prepared, and those souls i meet along the way, whether standing in line at the checkout counter or in the parking lot, are the ones i try to lighten the day's loads for. (i've always done this, but i feel that now it's much more important.)

i've had a sense of urgency for about the last year, that there's not as much time as people think there is. granted, that could easily mean that there's not as much time for me. but a friend of mine has had the same feeling, and we've been concentrating on trying to help another friend get her act together and see the light. like the first friend says, "she's a load!"