thanks to you all. each one of you has given me much to consider and much to remember... and kris, you are most definitely correct in saying that perhaps i'm reading too many different things right now which are causing me high levels of anxiety. i think that is 100% accurate my sweet friend. i have this very annoying tendency to want to "figure it all out" and in so doing i end up all over the place... with too much conflicting information and therefore in a perpetual cycles of confusion. i will stick with david's work for now and just be at peace. thank you my friends, kelly