[arreskslarlig]

hello chrisc,

i think you have gotten some very fine advice here. let me encourage you by saying that you will become stronger in the firmament that you are now building. suicide is immensely painful and it is not surprising that it put you down below your threshold.

call upon god, your angels, higher beings or whatever seems true to you for help. help comes! you are never alone.

i find the easiest way to forgive everyone, including yourself, is to have insight into this mess we're in. to let your understanding ponder how each of us is caught up in a web of trillions of prior events and impressions so that we are reacting and reacting in a dreamlike fashion. it really is true that there is no sin but just ignorance. people don't really want to be stuck in negativity and anger.

or if they do, for entertainment, let them be at that stage and don't get caught up in it. most tv, for example, is designed to entertain you by pulling you into negative, superemotional scenarios that aren't even real. why bother.

the negativity in our lives is not nearly as real as you think (my opinion based on my own spiritual insight). thinking it's what is really going on is a matter of perception. there's a whole other level where what's going on is that we love each other.

i know a technique that might help you, but i assume i am not allowed to say what it is, so if you pm me, i'll tell you.