[Assentesy]

i have felt this way towards some people too, your not bad for doing it. they will do things that seem like they want to get under your skin for no reason. my initial reaction was anger(and sometimes still is), and i could feel it welling up in my body. i wanted to scream out at this person and would have vivid images of doing so. but as i began my path of spiritual seeking i learned that what you hated in this person was something you did not like in your self, this is something that took me a while to accept. but as i sat down for a long time and thought intensly about what and why i did what i did to that person, or why i ddint like them, basically the very core of why i was mad, it boiled down to insecurity/ negative feelings and doubt i had on myself, wich is hard to admit.


i have found through much searching and contemplation that you have to fully love and accept yourself first before you can really, truly love and accept others. it was hard for me, because our society says we have to be something else. i also learned from davids work and the law of one stuff it is not good to hold in anger or negative feelings because this can manifest into cancer(although its not happned to me personally), so if you get mad, go someplace else and let that anger wash over you, fell every bit of it, maybe go and punch the living daylights out of a pillow, let your adrenaline surge, just whatever you need to do to productivly release it without harming anything. after you have you will feel better.


once you have accepted yourself, maybe not 100 percent but alot more than before, you might try and reach out to this person, and get shot down, do not let it bother you(easier said than done), i interpret this as a test, if you fail it, no big deal, pick yourself up again and be patient, once you can forgive yourself and be patient with you first, it will become easier to do it for others, this is something i am facing right now. be persistant but be yourself, when i first wanted things to get better in my life i tried to be this all loving softy person who was basically lying to themselves saying everything was in harmony and i got it. it was a lie, you have to admit all your faults and mistakes, if you dont, youll never learn from them! and spiritual enlightenment wont happen overnight, this is why pateince is so important. i later realized that i can still be loving but be my usual goofy self. and love others for who they are, no matter how odd they may seem. if they are really mean then just tell yourself they are confused and are still a human being, because even the bad guys need some love, without it then we would have an endless cycle of hate. steve irwin was himself, even if you dont care about crocs you can say that his passion was insipring, simply because he did what he loved, and he was himself.

so if you know that your a good person, be that person, realize that alot of us were this age at one point and did really dumb things, i am definetly one of these people but ive learned a great deal from it. if you let these negative feelings take over you then you will see more and more negative things happening, if you look at davids research then you will definelty discover that negative feelings will manifest themselves in reality, and you will get stuck in an endless cycle of hate.

i have been trying to get my mom to quit destroying her body since i breathed my first breath of life, ive wanted to give up. but now i realize that if i can love her as myself and treat her with the untmost repect then one day she will probably get an idea in her head that hey, i dont want to die from lung cancer because i have a family who cherishes me.

just be sure to be patient with yourself, and be glad that you are a good person because you want to change, being right here is proof of that, if it werent for your bros girlfirend then maybe you would never have the desire to change. and just rememebr that this is moslty up to you, its good to get advice and read up on stuff etc etc, but you have to be the one to initiate the change and know that we are all equals in this very seriouse game of life.

i say all of this like i have it down well, but i assure you that im still a work in progress, yet i remain optimistic with myself and hope that my 1 am philosophy of life can shed some light on your situation,
peace be with you