[ExelePlavisseu]

i don't care for this thread any longer as i started it off when feeling very poorly (the replies are great tho : ). i don't think it's ineptness but more a kind of distractedness. an emotional, right brain bleedthrough kinda thing.
fact is, i just don't want to play the game of mr. competent - regardless on what level, peon or field marshal.
i simply want to master an art or craft...

ok, the motivation behind this specific post is that i just had my first nightmare concerning 2012 and possible scenarios. this took me by surprise as the day itself was perfect. now that's rare.
pattern to (tho not the nightmarish part), two nights back i had a dream where two young girls looked at each other with very warm, loving yet knowing smiles. one of them said one word; nasa.
last night, one of the dream fragments had another young girl as a military jet pilot. now this thing had some huge contraption sticking out the front. and several were doing insanely steep banks. so i was freaked to see someone so young (and female).

the nightmarish aspect was more a feeling. i was lying down listening to a show on the radio about the coming (possible pole shift). the fear in me was fairly intense. but then there was this dude in front of me calling into the show. he started talking but then became exceedingly fearful and dis-oriented and just collapsed onto the bed i was on. i awoke right then to find that this fear lasted for another solid hour.
that the fear lasted makes me think i was being toyed with (again). if post psychic attack descriptions are any indication.

now to tie it all in; (my childhood aside) i am constantly being "harrassed" by something. it's either weather, noises, food, implants, scalars, emotions, people, whatever.
what i'm saying is that it at least seems ...something is constantly preventing me from optimal levels of energy. and this new event is of special concern as i've been trying extra hard (due to this site) to connect with my higher self.