[Wrencytet]

it is difficult. i understand the pain of loneliness. i unterstand and here the pain of things being not as we like but as they are. i hear the pain of struggle , fatique. i hear the pain of disappointment and the despair that can tempt us. it is a paradox. i was told this mantra by a friend who coresponded with an inmate in texas who prayered " i am okay even when i am not okay." i say this often for a i find that "it is the way it is." i accept life on lifes terms. i am powerless and i am not , these are paradoxes and i think we see this. how to deal with them? because i suffer from alcoholism , i practise the 12 steps and must rely on the wisdom of those who have the same disease and are recoverying. simple put "i cannot, he can, i will let him." it is a faith journey with a great deal of mystery and unknowns. oi love this prayer " lord though knowest better than i know my self... i don't know everything . even if i did it is to no avail! i am not in control of people places or events. it is humbling to realize the limits of my being and then to accept the greater love of a higher power. i can respond with honsety and sincerity, "lord you know better than i know myself!"
hope is in the dark, by faith, love is in the dark by holding to each other, " i am okay even when i am not okay." i honor the soul in prison who shared his heart this way. i reach out to you with my own scars and hope , i am with you.kenneths149