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i have one classmate who was diagnosed (labelled) as having bipolar illness and two others as having schizophrenia. i also have many friends who have been taking medication for depression.

it seems many of these initial episodes which i call dark nights of the soul are triggered by something highly traumatic to the person experiencing them--and in our society, mental illnesses have been occurring much more frequently than ever before. this suggests to me that this consciousness evolution has been a huge part of it--something which our mainstream psychology and psychiatry fields seem to have missed. our old foundation of accepted truths are falling to the side to make room for the new.

for me, the dark nights of the soul helped me go inward to find my answers and compassion and self-appreciation--i remember taking responsibility for my own life and well-being at some point within the midst of the terror of each one. and in looking back--that moment of taking responsibility for myself was the most empowering choice.

i had a chiropractor tell me ten years ago that i would "crash and burn" if i didn't complete his prescribed treatments for scoliosis (a physical and frighteningly painful manifestation of something from my past surfacing to be acknowledged, healed and released)--but i was firm in taking responsibility for my well-being. and i haven't crashed and burned yet. grin.

those that ended up in hospitals (and bless them for their contrasting experiences because i grew and learned from them in this entire process) got these mental/emotional illness labels--which they seem to then make their truth and seek to "live up to," seemingly saying "this is who i am and who i am for the rest of my life." to look into their eyes is to see and feel hopelessness and emptiness. they have a "poor me" attitude or "i have to prove that people with this illness are (i am) worthy of being." and being empathetic as all of us humans are--this is indeed quite a journey to share with another person and/or their loved ones.

with recent interactions with my friend with bipolar illness, i found the words coming out of my mouth, "you're no crazier than i am or anyone else." this was in response to her excuse, "but i am mentally ill." i realized that after i said the words, i truly believed them--she wasn't crazy. she'd been through dark nights, only she wasn't aware that she could choose whether she was going to accept someone's truth outside of her who gave her a label, or whether she was going to challenge it and take responsibility for learning to love unconditionally herself and to treat herself with compassion rather than looking for someone outside of herself to do it first--basically, to validate her beingness.

thanks, all, for all your sharing--we're not talking together to compare our abilities to put words into sentences--we're having a conversation at a round table...and i'm thoroughly enjoying our discussion and what each of you has to share. this is a pretty amazing tool david started...

with love and appreciation,
penny