[Wrencytet]

i too was good at the mask and not admitting how
i felt until it came all undone . i was teaching and had to retire because i no longer could contain the anger and hostility i felt. it was a wise move for me to admitt i was unwell and needed to stop and take stock. it was better than committing an act of violence to myself or another. already i was suffering from depression( self hatred and anger) the next step was too drastic to contemplate. i appreciate that my higher self knows all this and is willing to help me . all i need do is ask! thank you for that teaching from this site. no more need to go hunting for readings and opinions from others. just ask in prayer and let it be what it is! my dad says i try too hard and i don't know when to hold back!
that speaks about my irritability and impatience. i wanted every thing yesterday. so i am most sad and dissapointed with my lot! big lesson to learn acceptance there for all my philosophical musing! it boils down to yes or no! but i l love to tell the telling so of course i complicate the issue! i told my life story to a young 25 year old spainard who has the gift of brevity. he summarized my life in three words. " it is difficult" .pure genius the spainards can be so precise in their thinking!! . i repiled even shorter, " good enough" i laughed so i can't be that sick but still ..... good enough?