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hi lisa,

i think the term trophy wife/husband implies a definitely selfish indulgence on the part of the other half, the husband/wife who is at least unconsciously simply using the "trophy" to build up his/her own self esteem in an unhealthy, parasitic way. certainly you can have a very strong and very beautiful and very healthy desire for a husband/lover who is handsome, rich, powerful, athletic, and your desire does not mean that you want a trophy husband at all. it just means you have a desire for the best things in life and that is very healthy.

what it really boils down to is, how honest and how aware are you personally of your own inner motivations. the trophy wife probably is very definitely looking for someone she loves and who has money, which is good. but if she does wind up being a trophy wife in a negative sense, married to an abusive or insensitive braggart or other undesireable, it is most likely because she has not examined her own deeper motivations honestly enough to enable her to see through the false facade that lured her into the undesireable relationship.