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**StitlyDute** · 06-22-2010, 04:57 AM

But from my own experiences with attempting to help a few people get rid of their neg attachments, I've found that every single one of them were not willing to be honest with themselves enough to confront the very issues that kept the negs attached to them, let alone do anything about these issues. That's a huge problem.

I've seen this too.

It can take a lot of courage to be honest with yourself. It takes even more courage to act on the discoveries of your honesty.

In many cases (whether involving Negs or not) I've noticed that introspection and progressive action is blocked by depression as much as avoidance -- but they amount to the same thing. Just as courage begins with acting despite fear, sometimes happiness is acting despite depression. Honesty can begin with facing avoidance around certain issues as much as facing the issues themselves. As you allow yourself to ask why you avoid, or actively resist, certain lines of thought, your issues begin to be outlined.

One issue of mine for many years was suppressing anger (which led to explosions of it). I only legitimately dealt with the issue once I asked myself why I avoided getting angry. I discovered that I had a lot of judgments about anger as an emotion, which led me to recollections of my dad exploding on my mother or us kids. Essentially I had a belief that "Anger is always bad." I was never untruthful with myself about my anger. I knew it was an issue. So in my case dealing with that issue wasn't a matter of being honest with myself per se, but it was a matter of finding out why I avoided anger.

Two more thoughts: (1) Often the thing we're afraid to do we believe we need exceptional energy for. And usually that's untrue -- or it's only true because we haven't broken down a big goal into smaller ones. (2) Our negative emotions only have the power to stall us as long as we're in judgment of them.

06-22-2010, 04:57 AM	#27
StitlyDute Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 485 Senior Member	But from my own experiences with attempting to help a few people get rid of their neg attachments, I've found that every single one of them were not willing to be honest with themselves enough to confront the very issues that kept the negs attached to them, let alone do anything about these issues. That's a huge problem. I've seen this too. It can take a lot of courage to be honest with yourself. It takes even more courage to act on the discoveries of your honesty. In many cases (whether involving Negs or not) I've noticed that introspection and progressive action is blocked by depression as much as avoidance -- but they amount to the same thing. Just as courage begins with acting despite fear, sometimes happiness is acting despite depression. Honesty can begin with facing avoidance around certain issues as much as facing the issues themselves. As you allow yourself to ask why you avoid, or actively resist, certain lines of thought, your issues begin to be outlined. One issue of mine for many years was suppressing anger (which led to explosions of it). I only legitimately dealt with the issue once I asked myself why I avoided getting angry. I discovered that I had a lot of judgments about anger as an emotion, which led me to recollections of my dad exploding on my mother or us kids. Essentially I had a belief that "Anger is always bad." I was never untruthful with myself about my anger. I knew it was an issue. So in my case dealing with that issue wasn't a matter of being honest with myself per se, but it was a matter of finding out why I avoided anger. Two more thoughts: (1) Often the thing we're afraid to do we believe we need exceptional energy for. And usually that's untrue -- or it's only true because we haven't broken down a big goal into smaller ones. (2) Our negative emotions only have the power to stall us as long as we're in judgment of them.
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