[ROYMANgo]

Often times, when i am meditating with my eyes open or simply tired, i see something like the flower of life; as if i am inside and looking out. It is quite similar to the lattice-type structure that I and others have seen during kundalini events and although much has been written regarding the mathematics of it, i spend a bit of time wondering what the mechanics of it are. what happens inside the head, i mean.

So on Saturday mid-morning i was standing waist-deep in whiskeytown lake. i was very tired and didn't feel like swimming so i just stood there and spaced out for a while. i also did some energy work with my hands, feet and legs which were all in the water.

The sun was directly above and to my right, and it reflected off of the water only inches from my right wrist. Ahead of me, a large polarized glare shimmered on the surface of the lake.

The cold wind began picking up small waves everywhere so that the glare was only visible on a side of each wave. This is hard to describe but i think it is easy to imagine, esp. for people that have had this experience.

Anyway, all at once it seemed that the whole lake had begun meditating with me, or me with it, and the flower-of-life type lines I normally see overlaid perfectly on the small waves. so that, coupled with the bright polarized glare, made it seem like a million eyes were looking back at me and me at them. It was quite astonishing. Also, the glare reminded me of the blobs that i so often see. The blobs often appear near the middle of my eyelid and move to the side. The glare on the lake wasn't moving, however, it did create the illusion of movement. because the waves were bouncing, there was the illusion that the bright glare was moving down and to the side, away from the center, in long rays.

I hope this is making sense as i type it. i feel closer now to understanding this phenomenon.

It makes me wonder if there literally, physically, is a bright light somewhere in my head, reflecting off of a water surface.

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I almost posted this but i think i should add a couple things:

First, I had a vision last weekend, a vision on my vision screen of a rising sun over the horizon. I'm not sure what it meant, but it made me angry and it ended.

Second, when i close my eyes and gently press and hold them with my fingertips, i get bright light right on my vision screen. that seems to be a way to "turn the light on" or something.