[CedssypeEdids]

Hello, Lou.

Do you know the phrase "maintaining a grip on reality"? It has more truth in it than I originally thought. Originally people mean with it "staying sane", but I have another, additional interpretation of it, perhaps it is helpful:

We invest energy in our interpretation of reality. It actually takes energy to keep on experiencing reality just as we do right now. Some people think only heightened energy propels our consciousness out of this physical reality, but I saw the opposite to be true, too. I had a deep mind experience in a moment of mental exhaustion. I was not charged, I was exhausted. In this moment it was easier to let go of my usual grip on reality than to maintain it, which I did and do out of pure habit. In this moment I experienced myself separate from emotions, thoughts and ego, as pure awareness, an experience which most people would associate with a great achievement in meditation and energy work. But it just happened to me while being too exhausted to think in my usual way, but physically fully awake.

Many experiences are linked to physical exhaustion, too. Robert once wrote that sleep withdrawal can induce an OBE, but not necessarily one you will remember fondly. Sick people of all ages were reported to have experiences in states of exhaustion, and IIRC that even included visions or religious personal epiphanies. So sometimes in a weakened, strained or worn-out state an experience can hit us our awareness might even usually block out subconsciously. Simply because our belief system does not allow it.

So, given this long intro, I cannot say what happened to as a child. The problem with experiences induced by being weak is that often we are not in charge or very lucid. You be the judge of how much you would trust your perception from back then. I'd say it is absolutely possible you hit a similar state back then, but only you can look inside you and answer your question what it was.

So, a gut response, if you may: What was it?

Take good care,
Oliver