DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - Experiencing Higher self?, afraid of being a god

**inofindy** · 01-22-2008, 08:30 AM

I really don't think you can have ego-death- you can evolve your ego to the point in which it realizes it doesn't have the type of reality it thinks it has, but it can never be destroyed in the sense of ceasing to exist.

I'm not so sure of that. Years ago when I was having my breakdown, an event that took years and was, I am positive, initiated by prayer on my part (silly me, I asked for healing and to be made over!), my ego slowly broke down until, for a period of a day or so, I really felt like there was nothing left. I felt like a turtle without a shell, it was terrifying.

It was like being peeled, like an onion. Layer after layer came off, and when we got to the middle... there was nothing, but I was still there. It was an extremely peculiar feeling.

The ego is, I believe, necessary for navigating the material world. It's like a diver's equipment. You MUST have it or you can't be in the environment. However, it really isn't part of you.

What happened with me was that once I reached the middle of the onion, so to speak, a new ego started to form, a significantly different one than the one I had before (which is a good thing; I was pretty fragmented and damaged). I am genuinely a different person now. I have most of the other person's memories, and my subconscious is quite similar (fixing that is what I've been doing lately), but I am so different as to have required a new name and everything. I think it's fair to say that my previous ego is "dead". Certainly the "person" I was then is gone.

And this is why I say that your ego never goes away permanently. It's like losing a toe nail. You grow a new one.

NOTE to people reading this thread: My experience was an extreme one. I was highly dysfunctional and emotionally unwell. In order to proceed, the breakdown was necessary for me, but MOST people proceed without such drastic measures. I was just THAT badly messed up that we (God and I) had to demolish and start over. That's not common, nor is it usually necessary. I'm a strange case.

I say that so that people don't fear that if they pursue spiritual growth they'll end up in the looney bin. That's actually a pretty unlikely scenario. Me, I just have to be different...

01-22-2008, 08:30 AM	#16
inofindy Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 473 Senior Member	I really don't think you can have ego-death- you can evolve your ego to the point in which it realizes it doesn't have the type of reality it thinks it has, but it can never be destroyed in the sense of ceasing to exist. I'm not so sure of that. Years ago when I was having my breakdown, an event that took years and was, I am positive, initiated by prayer on my part (silly me, I asked for healing and to be made over!), my ego slowly broke down until, for a period of a day or so, I really felt like there was nothing left. I felt like a turtle without a shell, it was terrifying. It was like being peeled, like an onion. Layer after layer came off, and when we got to the middle... there was nothing, but I was still there. It was an extremely peculiar feeling. The ego is, I believe, necessary for navigating the material world. It's like a diver's equipment. You MUST have it or you can't be in the environment. However, it really isn't part of you. What happened with me was that once I reached the middle of the onion, so to speak, a new ego started to form, a significantly different one than the one I had before (which is a good thing; I was pretty fragmented and damaged). I am genuinely a different person now. I have most of the other person's memories, and my subconscious is quite similar (fixing that is what I've been doing lately), but I am so different as to have required a new name and everything. I think it's fair to say that my previous ego is "dead". Certainly the "person" I was then is gone. And this is why I say that your ego never goes away permanently. It's like losing a toe nail. You grow a new one. NOTE to people reading this thread: My experience was an extreme one. I was highly dysfunctional and emotionally unwell. In order to proceed, the breakdown was necessary for me, but MOST people proceed without such drastic measures. I was just THAT badly messed up that we (God and I) had to demolish and start over. That's not common, nor is it usually necessary. I'm a strange case. I say that so that people don't fear that if they pursue spiritual growth they'll end up in the looney bin. That's actually a pretty unlikely scenario. Me, I just have to be different...
	Quote