[TritteTouff]

I want to be clear that I see him on the astral plane- not just dreams. I sit up out of my body and he is there waiting. Then, after I have seen him on the astral, he follows me into my dream. His ability to enter my dream is secondary.

I had forgot until now- but I remember the second time he stopped by I went to a reader and asked "Why is he here?" and the reader said "He's here for the children." I dismissed the reader as being a total idiot. I thought he was making stuff up off the top of his head.

Someone else has come up with an interesting theory: The Elf is not here to kill my children, but to steal them. He is stealing them because they are, in fact, HIS. He is coming to collect his children, and take them back to his world. A very, very, interesting concept. The problem with this is I don't recall having astral sex with him.

Although, back in 2002 he told me during the dream part (not the astral part) he was getting me pregnant, and also another female from his own dimension. He was very boastful about this, that he had females pregnant in both dimensions at the same time. Like that made him "cool" somehow. My friends started cracking jokes about "Leyla's Mac-Daddy Elf."

I cannot trust the information - because he told me this in a dream- he did not tell it to me in the astral.

Also, we have this famous family story about when my grandmother was pregnant with my Aunt. She woke up in bed, in sleep paralysis, and something was attacking her. Then, someone came swooping in and fought the thing off, and a voice came out of the darkness saying "I have saved you again." Of course, being Christians they believe it was Jesus.

After that she had a dream she stood in a graveyard at the foot of baby's grave and the headstone had the letter H. When my aunt was born, she had a Hole in her Heart. I believe this was due to the attack my grandmother came under while she was pregnant with her. Now I am having to wonder, if this is perhaps a multi-generational attacker. If my grandmothers attacker and mine are the same.

I hope I figure out whats happening, but I can't get pregnant NOW. I don't even have a b/f much less a husband. Not to mention I'm a starving artist, and babies cost $$$. I need like, three or four more years.

I have a beauty pageant coming up, my gown is being special made, and I'll need it to fit. I really want to win this title BAD, and everyone says my chances are good. It would suuuuuck to miss out on a nearly guaranteed win.

At the same time I also have a dance troupe audition - and we might be going on tour. I'll be under contract, so they can't just drop me. But even if they move me from dancer to tour manager I can't think of anything worse than traveling while pregnant. It would be miserable.