[clorkergo]

I still question whether my own astral projection experiences were actually lucid dreams with increased level of consciousness. Did I really leave my physical body, or was it all in my head, a figment of my overactive imagination?

Things were happening so fast, and I did not yet know about all those methods I've read about lately. But I discovered that indeed I experienced some things that do occur during projection or partial projection. The first few times, I'd feel my astral body vibrating and floating around a bit. But I could not see, and my attempts would come to an end either by my body jerking out or, in one occasion, my astral limbs "flinging" out all of a sudden. That of course broke the concentration and left me very frustrated.

Funny, after soaking up all the info I could find on the net, I now have hit the wall. This week I've had no luck, not even a partial projection despite daily meditating and relaxing practices. I'd like to share with you two of my AP journal entries, and would very much appreciate any input from you guys. Feel free to analyse! I'm still "green" and need guidance.

FEB 15, Wed
I went out drinking last night. Got home around 2:30am and woke up this morning with a hangover. Good opportunity to take it easy and stay in bed.

Tried OBEing and almost succeeded this time- ALL RIGHT! I actually felt myself separating from my body, I simply stood up and WALKED to the stairway, then proceeded to go downstairs, across the dining area to the sliding glass doors. That's when I stopped, realizing: "hey, I'm supposed to be upstairs in my bed! What the heck am I doing here?" Well, guess what? I returned to my bed in an instant.

Sitting up in bed I tried to discern whether I had been dreaming. I felt every step I took going down the steps, I felt my hand on the rail. The only problem was that this, too, happened in darkness. Only while standing behind the glass doors looking outside I had some sort of foggy vision. The next moment I was back in bed.

FEB 18, Sat
Finally, a success! (I think!?!)
My best and maybe my first real (?) OBE... This happened between 9 and 10 am. after a good night's rest.

As I felt my astral self detaching, I lost consciousness, but only briefly. I came to with a full vision -YES!

During relaxation and breathing I had decided that if I were to succeed, I'd attempt to visit my brother. I've been very worried about him lately, because he has a bad drinking problem, if not a full blown alcoholism.

So, as I gained back my consciousness, I decided to go see my brother. Immediately, I came to him and observed him sitting down, looking up at me. His face and expression were clear, the surroundings were blurred. I had barely enough time to say his name (my voice sounded kind of distorted but loud), then I was whisked away involuntarily.

I found myself hovering over a beautiful deep-blue lake. It was surrounded by a shoreline of very rugged looking rock formations, behind which were green fields of grass. It was so sunny and bright, the view was breathtakingly gorgeous! I flew over the rocks and paused to study them and the ripples on the surface of the lake. The air was crystal clear and everything seemed real. How I enjoyed this place after my previous foggy and dark experiences. I made a conscious wish for the greens and blues to turn brighter, and they became even more vibrant! Awesome! I hovered along the shoreline for a while enjoying the scenery, then flew to check out some islands further away. Upon returning to the shore, I landed on a nice spot covered with soft grass. A thought entered my mind. I decided to call on a gypsy I had met in a dream last night. Funny, how I suddenly remembered this dream person (with whom I had shared a romantic moment). Was I now having another dream?

As I started concentrating on calling my gypsy guy, I was suddenly taken to a gloomy and desolate rock covered landscape. The rocky terrain stretched as far as my eye could see. "This must be what the moon looks/feels like" I thought. Behind me was an old brick wall. The bricks looked ancient, patterns were broken and covered by time.

Wandering around, searching for the gypsy, two men appeared before me. They were dressed in drab, grey clothes (perhaps they were miners). They asked me what was I looking for, and I replied, "my gypsy, I want to have sex with him! (How's that for honesty?!) I sensed an unhealthy interest emanating from these two and quickly withdrew from their presence. Next moment I was back at my bedside, looking at my face. I look weird, I thought. Then I slipped back in.

Wide awake in bed, I recalled and examined the events that had taken place. Once again, I questioned the reality of it all. Was it actually an authentic OBE? Surely I hadn't expected or planned to go on such a voyage. Everything seemed so real! But what about the dream guy
I was looking for? Was I in a lucid dream, because he was a "dream acquintance" or did I not find him because of that fact? Who were those men and why were they there? Did my voice sound strange and my face look weird because it was just a dream? Go figure...