[alenbarbaf]

I leave Indianapolis for La Romana on Friday for my 5th trip this year. Thanks to this forum I have compiled a list of things that I will not do in the DR this trip.

1. I will not fly any other airlines other than American Airlines.
2. I will not stay in an AI
3. I will not yell at anyone, even when hailing a motoconcho.
4. I will not flash money around to attract young Dominican women.
5. I will not call or visit AZB, because many of you find him disgusting.
6. I will not post on DR1, because Anna has put me in my place.
7. I will not yell out my hotel window “Vota Blanco” like I did on my last trip.
8. I will not drink any thing other than tap water and El Presidente.
9. I will not go to the trash littered beaches.
10. I will not go to PC because musicqueen says there are a lot of gays.
11. I will not stay at the Gran Hotel Barahona, even at $700RD per night.
12. I will not go to SD because of its urban sprawl, other than to see a sick friend who will be there late in the week.
13. I will not take a flashlight as I assume that the light will be on all of the time I am in the country.
14. I will not send my $10,000USD to Bills; he will have to pick it up in the DR.
15. I will not try to sell the 13 outdated cell phones I have at home in the DR.
16. I will not spend $400 million USD just to improve US, Dominican relations and erase the amount owed to US investors.
17. I will not buy any government property for less than RD$5,000 per tarea, or about RD$8 per square meter as Jesus Feliz Jimenez did.
18. I will not get liposuction while in the DR. They could sell this much fat and fuel an entire city. Think what that would do to government subsidized propane prices.
19. I will not go shopping with my novia. And I will not carry her handbag.
20.I will not tip anyone less than 30%, and will try to find a florist who has fresh cut roses.

If you can think of any other things I should not do on my stay, please reply.

Charlie