[2CNWXAqN]

While 1500 "muertos de hambre" take their luck to the Canal de La Mona and millions have to search their pockets for change to buy a platano in dollars, Our "Chacabana One" Mr. Hippo, was last night having a seafood a La Lebanese meal served by the pretentious Mouna Ayoub, the former Arab slave turned billionaire by her former Master Nasser Al Rashid.

Mouna has a habit of docking everywhere with her US$35 million sailboat throwing parties for big names and having her picture taken with presidents and kings to keep promoting her businesses, one of which is renting her boat for about $1.2 million a week. She found in Hippo a much willing customer for dinner, since all he does besides giving useless speeches that cause the dollar and interest rates to go up, is to visit supermarkets, friends, dominoes games and a free dinner here and there, since he never pays with his own money. As usual, while everyone else was wearing normal clothes, Hippo went into a "yatch" with his abnormal uniform, a white chacabana and a cowboy hat.

If Mouna had known better, she would have brought in some horses so Hippo could fit in with the marine atmosphere and wear the proper clothes. He ate like he usually does, as if the world would end tomorrow, so did his hungry entourage, who could devour a C-130 cargo plane full of food relief, such as how government employees do during natural disasters.

Mouna showed our big mouth president her latest collection from her last shopping spree. She and Hippo have that in common. They love to go shopping. Hippo had Pepe Goico do the shopping for him with those credit cards in dollars, while she buys all by herself, every collection at every fashion show in the world, and leaves nothing for the rest of the jet set. She is the Imelda Marcos of haute couture. She is also terribly overweight and looks terrible in every dress she buys. She tries to fit into Gautiers and Guccis designed by Tom Ford and does a dis-service to fashion wearing their clothes. She has to use custom made tight corsets and stiff halters to hold all that flab. But the designers are happy, because nobody else buys what she buys. She goes for everything.

Thank god Pepe Goico could not join the boat party. Otherwise they would have compared their latest Rolex acquisitions. I didn't notice if the chacabana one was wearing one of Pepe's Rolexes, but I am sure his chacabana had a Leonel Lirio or Oscar De La Renta sticker to show.

As for me, well I am happy to say that I went to see "The Ring" at the Diamond Mall last weekend wearing my dollar sucking Parasuco black wool jacket with a Versace low turtle neck in very thin crepe, hand made black suedes with the latest "gas" jeans with a Hermes belt. I had the company of a beautiful "Haitian" looking chic. While I have not found a true Haitian worth showing(Sorry Sonia Pierre, old mammas with Human Rights World Prizes don't qualify) I am trying some imitations. Is Naomi available?

As for Mouna...hey baby, can you try docking in Porto Principe and ask "El Brujo" Aristide to join you for a picture?

TW