[UFJon]

A book of humorous quotations will not fail to have a few from this genre's practitioners, and those I've come across are so rib-ticklingly funny that I thought of making a thread here to get more funny lines, secondhand experience (to those who've been to such live shows, post your review!s), and acquainted to more whom I should check out.

To date I've found gems by Rita Rudner, George Carlin, Steven Wright, and Bob Hope; Emo Phillips' makes me roar for the religious bent, and I know Groucho Marx doesn't really belong here but damn he's funny.

So your favourites, spill!