[asharbiq]

"I'm not even sorry!" Still my favourite Friends moment ever. Well, that and Ross being FINE.

Friends is also valuable for teaching us about life.

• Made a poor decision about furniture? Just think about Ross's couch or Monica's racing car bed.
• In love with your flatmate's girlfriend? Just be honest. Don't cross the line. Don't go so far beyond the line the line is a dot to you.
• Jealous of your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend? Bald her.
• Confused by bearded men? FOG THEM. (Please don't fog me.)
• Do you have a clingy, foghorn girlfriend you can't stand? Catch a plane to Yemen.
• Do you want to invent a new sport? Just try and imagine what's really involved in FIREBALL.
• Did you accidentally leave the stove on, some water running, and a window open and then lock your baby in your home by itself? An eagle might fly in, land on the stove and catch fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues it as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still ablaze are locked in a death grip, swirling around in the whirlpool that fills the apartment.
• Adopting a child? Pretend you're a minister and/or a doctor.
• Is Gary Oldman drunk? Gary Oldman is always drunk.
• Is Paul Rudd hot? Marry him.
• Do you fancy Jacques Cousteau? I'm sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead.