[gernica]

TALES FROM THE TRANSPO DESK: PART 2

TOMMY TOOL!

At every tournament certain players are loaned their own cars. Most often it is because they are the top seed, but sometimes it is because they have been loyal to the tournament for years or have a great relationship with the tourney director.

Tommy Haas was one such recipient of a loaner Mercedes even though he was only in the tournament because of a wildcard. Now Tommy lives in LA, and probably has nicer and more expensive cars of his own so why he would want a loaner is beyond me. I guess most players of his stature have bought into a sense of entitlement and this point was confirmed one morning when he appears at the player’s entrance, parks illegally on a red curb and runs into practice. Once I noticed where he had parked, I had to go chase him onto center court, take his keys and move his car for him so the tournament wouldn’t be held responsible for paying his parking ticket. As I plucked the keys out of his tennis bag, no apology or a thank you was forthcoming from him either. What a tool!

In appearance, Tommy Tool seems to have lost some more weight and according to some of the female drivers, it has made him less attractive. I’ve always found his German accent via South Beach to be on the faux side, and the way he strides about, I always imagine, he must be thinking, “I’m Tommy Haas, and you’re NOT!” If I were a writer on Saturday Night Live, there is no doubt I would create an entire sketch around Tommy Tool’s swagger with him oft repeating the line, “I’m Tommy Haas, and you’re NOT!” to the likes of The Dalai Lama, Nelson Mandela, Barack Obama, The Pope and Vladimir Putin.

Contrast Tommy Tool with…


GERMAN MUPPET VOICE

Michael Berrer is perhaps the nicest, most genuine player currently on the ATP. Though I had already nicknamed him GMV prior to meeting him, I felt quite guilty about it afterwards. He charmingly and engagingly spoke to all the drivers and in my specific instance, when I told him my real name (not Miles), he repeated it five times so he was sure to remember it next time we met. Prior to the Flake match, I also told him he had to win since he was on my Road to NY team, and when I saw him the next day after the loss, he apologized not once, but twice for losing, saying Flake was just too good. What player would ever remember to do that?!

He chose to play in the US Open series this year because the two German clay tournaments (Hamburg and Stuttgart) basically have no interest in promoting local players unless they are superstars. He was quite offended by the sentiment since he believe promoting a local boy would certainly bring more fans out so he decided to walk the walk this year.

As has been noted, he is also physically quite large, barely fitting into the captain’s seat in the Benz.

I also had the pleasure of driving him back to the airport as he headed to Washington. We began talking about frequent flyer programs and his need to upgrade since he can barely fit into coach seats. As we discussed the cost of last minute air travel, I told him I would gladly exchange miles with him if he ever needed a last minute itinerary and the fares were astronomical (a typical Business ticket is $7K and a First ticket is $10K for international travel). He was all up for that and now I have Michael Berrer’s contact info. BFFs forever!


MALISSE, PITY PARTY OF ONE, YOUR TABLE IS READY

Ever wonder how a player is feeling immediately after a stunning loss as they disappear inside the bowels of the stadium? Got a glimpse of this after Malisse went down to Gulbis in a third set tiebreak in the first round. He couldn’t leave the tournament grounds fast enough so he made his way to the player’s entrance but then just stood near the transportation desk. He had the stunned look of someone who might have just walked away from a devastating car accident. He leaned his head on the side of the building for what seemed like forever and in that moment it felt like he would never play tennis again. In one respect, it was quite amazing to see that age 31, he still had a burning desire to win and that a loss could still be so crushing.

Now you may wondering why no one from the transpo desk walked up to him to ask him if he wanted a ride back to the hotel. Well, first of all, Malisse was also the recipient of a loaner Benz so he had his own ride. Secondly, his girlfriend (he has a different one every year) and his hitting partner/friend were still stranded in the stadium player’s box and thirdly, it was obvious he wanted to be left alone in that moment.

So why exactly was Malisse hanging around instead of just driving away on his own? Well, he left his car keys with the girlfriend , so instead of running away he had to hang around giving us all a rare insight into what it feels like to lose to Gulbis!

Malisse went on to win the doubles, and in the ensuing days he was back to being himself, which is to say he is kind, funny, engaging, and down to earth to all around him, including fans and tournament workers. Still, it was an epic pity party!

Stay tuned, more to come daily for the next few days…