[gernica]

TALES FROM THE TRANSPO DESK: PART 4

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ROLL UP THE WINDOWS AND TURN OFF THE A/C?

The entire Gulbis clan wasn’t very popular with the transpo department for one simple reason. They hate air-conditioning, especially Papa Gulbis who showed up sick in LA. At one point, a physio was sent to CVS to buy $140 worth of remedies and administer them to Papa. Well, he felt better immediately but that also meant he would now be going to the tournament site with Ernie for practices and such. At times it got quite hot last week but with Papa in the car, the orders were clear and immediate: roll up the windows and no a/c.

One of the other drivers told of a hilarious moment where she literally had a bead of sweat running down the side of her face before someone in the car said it would be ok to roll down the windows…but only while the car was at a stop-light.

After a while, I became Ernie’s regular driver and before leaving to pick him up, I would proudly announce to the other drivers, “Smell me now, because I ain’t gonna smell so great afterwards”.

Getting back to Papa, he arrived in LA on his own and a car was sent to pick him up late at night. The driver circled LAX endlessly with no sign of Papa. Finally, after a couple of hours the hotel was called and we were told Papa had already arrived via cab and checked-in. We were all baffled by the lack of courtesy and why he would just get in a cab when he knew a car was sent for him. Well, I was about to find out.

One afternoon I went to pick up Ernie, Papa, and some other young guy with long blonde hair who was with them during the tournament. I wait in front of the hotel and as Ernie comes out ahead of the others, we walk to the SUV, put his racquet bag in the trunk and get in the car. It is then we realize there is no Papa or Blondie. Where did they go? They were right behind us. Ernie and I get out of the car, but no sign of them on the street. We go back inside the hotel, no sign of them. We come back outside, still no sign of them. It’s like the movie The Vanishing. I have visions of Papa and Blondie buried alive in a wooden box. But then we spot a minivan cab with tinted windows and an open side door. Ernie walks up to it and inside are Papa and Blondie, cozily sitting in the cab. Both Ernie and I look at each other and just burst out laughing. Later on I realized this explained the airport situation perfectly. When his tournament sent vehicle wasn’t literally right in front of him as he got out of the airport, he must have gotten into the first cab he saw and went on his way. Amazing, hilarious, and infuriating, all at the same time.

As for the infamous stories about Ernie taking a private jet to challenger events, it was only done when the events were not centrally located or near a major airport and travel by private jet just made sense for Papa Gulbis.

At one point Ernie and I started talking about mmmm8. I mentioned how she is a fan and her elongated job search last year. Immediately Ernie started asking more detailed questions about her such as her age and her major at Columbia. Since I didn’t have exact answers for some of these questions, I just started making stuff up. So now, Ernie knows plenty about our Mariya, but how much of it is actually accurate remains a mystery. I told him she would be at his US Open matches (he’s not playing DC) so maybe she can stop by and clear the record.

Here is my take on Gulbis. If he gets along with you, you are a friend for life. But if he is cautious about you, he won’t have any problem calling you out. The latter sentiment is not because he comes from a privileged background, it is because he is extremely smart and just doesn’t care to suffer fools lightly. I can identify with that. He also doesn’t have a need to be liked, or a real desire to please. These are perhaps not the best personality traits for someone in the public eye but he isn’t going to change. If you like your tennis stars to be saintly look elsewhere, but if you like your tennis stars to be “real” – meaning as flawed as anyone – Ernie is definitely your guy.

With me he was always great. He always smiled warmly whenever we ran into each other and he always extended his paw for a handshake as we parted ways. Hardly the behavior of a spoiled, rich kid. Anyone who saw the Shriver interviews in LA got a sense of the other side of Ernie. He simply does not value bullshit over substance and has not problem calling someone, even while on TV, out on it. For the pre-match interview prior to the final, Pammie kept going on and on about how he was about to play Fish who is top 10, just won a title and is the #1 American. To which Ernie simply retorted, “I’m #1 in Latvia”. Take that Pammie and your bullshit. As if being the #1 American is something to be feared in today’s men’s game.

However, sometimes Ernie’s loyalty comes at a price not worth paying. One day a driver was late in picking him up but only because no pick-up was scheduled and the car was sent only after he called about it. When he arrived at the tournament, he insisted Blondie had scheduled a pick-up and we had somehow screwed up. We of course had no record of a scheduled pick-up. At that point, he repeatedly asked if the transpo coordinator was calling Blondie a liar and he just wouldn’t let the matter go. Now we have not missed a pick-up all tournament so clearly Blondie never called but Ernie was going to stay loyal even if he looked bad in the process.

Ernie also has two sisters who also play tennis. He hopes they never play professionally, because he thinks it is a much more difficult life for young girls on the tour. He said this during bea’s interview and thankfully bea cut it out because it would have been interpreted as “Ernie’s chauvinistic remarks about women’s tennis”. The next day, I told him he should just not diss women’s tennis in any manner because no good can come of it, especially in America. He tried to make the point that he was only talking about it in the context of his sisters but immediately understood the larger implications.

In the end, I think Ernie will always remain a bit of enigma to tennis fans. Like any of us, he is flawed, but he just isn’t going to change just so you can like him. I can respect that. But still that ‘no a/c’ rule has to go.

Canas, who is now coaching Gulbis -- along with Gabashvili and Odesnik -- will always carry the stain of his doping convictions but as a person he is soft-spoken, quite nice, and has little pretension about him. He still looks great and fitness remains important to him. More than once he was spotted jogging in and out of the hotel. He mainly lives in Miami now and has started a mini-academy with about seventeen students. He rarely returns to Argentina since his parents make the effort to visit him in the US regularly.

I spoke with him about the spring of 2007 when he beat Federer in IW and Miami, Canas readily admitted that during the first match Fed did not particularly play well. However, during the second match Fed played well and when Canas went down a break in the third, he was certain he was going to lose that match. Of course Canas broke back and went on to win the Miami match but it was interesting to listen to his honest assessment of those two matches.