[zooworms]

LIKES

I will cut you if you talk smack about KIM CLIJSTERS.

RAFA (on clay) SERENA (on any other surface) has the best forehand in the biz.

JUSTINE HENIN'S backhand mechanics are so beautiful, I am reduced to tears when watching them play.

FELICIANO LOPEZ sure has a wicked serve.

I model my own tennis game after the Spanish chase down everything players.

DAVID NALBANDIAN is the best player to never win a Slam--YET.

My favorite obscure player is JANKO TIPSAREVIC.

DISLIKES

I've you're talking smack about MARIA SHARAPOVA, make sure I know about it so I can join in!

JENNIFER CAPRIATI is the whiniest player on either tour.

IVO KARLOVIC has the ugliest game in the known tennis world.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....where I am I? I must have dozed off, as I was watching NICOLE VAIDISOVA play.

MARY PIERCE'S pre-serve ritual is irritating and distracting. (sorry, Scotty!)

DANIELA HANTUCHOVA bugs me for no particular reason.


LUSTS

If I were playing strip poker with three tennis players of my choice, they would be ROBBY GINEPRI, XAVIER MALISSE, and JANKO TIPSAREVIC.

However, I would gouge out my eyes if I saw CONCHITA MARTINEZ naked.

I would consider going gay/straight for THE YOUNGER VERSION OF EMMANUELLE (MANU) GAGLIARDI.

MISCELLANY

If I were in the club getting crunk with tennis player, my posse would consist of SERENA WILLIAMS, NOVAK DJOKOVIC, and FRANCESCA SCHIAVONE.

TATIANA GOLOVIN would make the best conversationalist.

SESIL KARANTANCHEVA is the player most like to end up in prison, while MARAT SAFIN may one day end up in an insane asylum.