[JakeBarkings]

LIKES

I will cut you if you talk smack about Raja, Rafa Kimmie.

RAJA has the best forehand in the biz.

Mauresmo's backhand mechanics are so beautiful, I am reduced to tears when watching them play.

Roddick/ Serena sure has a wicked serve. (when it’s working)

I model my own tennis game after Mauresmo.

Nalbandian is the best player to never win a Slam--YET.

My favorite obscure player is Anna Smashnova and Ollie Rochus.

DISLIKES

I've you're talking smack about Kiefer and Haas, make sure I know about it so I can join in!

Serena W. and Nicholas Kiefer are the whiniest player on either tour.

Dr. Ivo has the ugliest game in the known tennis world.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....where I am I? I must have dozed off, as I was watching Robredo and half the WTA play.

Rafa’s and Mary Pierce's pre-serve ritual is irritating and distracting.

Tommy Haas bugs me for no particular reason.


LUSTS

If I were playing strip poker with three tennis players of my choice, they would be Marat Safin, James Blake, and half of the Spainish Davis Cup team, especially Feliciano Lopez and Carlos Moya

However, I would gouge out my eyes if I saw Davydenko naked.

I would consider going gay for no one.

MISCELLANY

If I were in the club getting crunk with tennis player, my posse would consist of Marat Safin, Amelie Mauresmo, Serena Williams and Jelena Jankovic. (Capriati maybe added since she’s a party girl-LOL)

Jelena Jankovic would make the best conversationalist.

N. Keifer is the player most like to end up in prison, while Davydenko may one day end up in an insane asylum.