[Elelaytet]

LIKES

I will cut you if you talk smack about Marat Safin (like a parent, only I am allowed to do it).

Roger Federer has the best forehand in the biz.

Justine Henin's backhand mechanics are so beautiful, BUT

I am reduced to tears ONLY when watching Martina Hingis play.

Max Mirnyi sure has a wicked serve.

I model my own tennis game after Yuri Sharapov.

David Nalbandian is the best player to never win a Slam--YET. (changed it after I read Moose's - I forgot him!)

My favorite obscure player is Teimuraz Gabashvili, maybe. Is Younes el Aynaoui obscure?

DISLIKES

If you're talking smack about Tatiana Golovin, make sure I know about it so I can join in!

Serena Williams (off court), Andy Murray (on court) is the whiniest player on either tour.

Half the WTA has the ugliest game in the known tennis world.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....where I am I? I must have dozed off, as I was watching Roger Federer play an 18 year-old qualifier.

Rafael Nadal's pre-serve ritual is irritating and distracting.

Jelena Jankovic's forehead bugs me for no particular reason.


LUSTS

If I were playing strip poker with three tennis players of my choice, they would be Tommy Haas, Alexander Waske, and Carlos Moya from about 6 years ago. Can Mario Ancic just sit there and look pretty? He doesn't have to play, but I just couldn't exclude him from the evening


However, I would gouge out my eyes if I saw Roger Federer naked.

I would consider going gay/straight for Ana Ivanovic.

MISCELLANY

If I were in the club getting crunk with tennis player, my posse would consist of Dmitry Tursunov, Novak Djokovic, and Nicolas Kiefer. Whereupon, we would proceed to the first part of last question

Jonas Bjorkman, Gustavo Kuerten, Martina Hingis, Fabrice Santoro, Renae Stubbs, Alex Corretja, Goran Ivanisevic, Dmitry Tursunov, Amelie Mauresmo, Marat Safin would make the best conversationalists.

Nicolas Kiefer is the player most likely to end up in prison, while Patty Schnyder may one any day now end up in an insane asylum.