How about this: When a player fucks up, he gets benched or cut, and his team suffers the consequences. Everybody knows it, his family can be subjected to abuse and potentially violence by whatever lunatice fringe nutjob is out there. HE DOES NOT GET A DO-OVER! But we give refs a do-over. Then even when they still fuck it up, they go on mostly anonymously- no fines or suspensions that we are ever made aware of. If a ref fails a drug test, do we find out about it? or a DUI? or domestic abuse?