[Super-Luser]

Back in August, I ranked all 32 teams and some of you were pissed off because the Bears and Redskins were ranked too high. Well, now that we've seen all the teams play 1 game, it's time for some new rankings.


32. Buffalo Bills (0-1) (previously: 30th): C.J. Spiller was a preseason warrior but somewhere along the line it didn't translate to week 1. Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. You can thank ill for that one. Much like that thread, watching this team is a waste of your time.

31. Cleveland Browns (0-1) (prev: 29th): I know their name is the Browns but that doesn't excuse this team for continually playing like shit. Peyton Hillis had a worse rushing average, 2 fumbles, one that he lost, and for some reason had the same number of carries as Jerome Harrison . . . who, by the way, averaged nearly 6.0 yards per carry. If this team can't beat the Buccaneers, I'm not sure who they can beat.

30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-0) (prev: 32nd): Connor Barth nailed a 49-yard field goal, Josh Freeman looked like a legitimate starting QB, and the Bucs effectively ran the football on Sunday. And yet, they still barely beat the Browns. I'll tip my hat to the Bucs for this week but I don't see them competing with the Saints or Falcons in the NFC South.

29. St. Louis Rams (0-1) (prev: 31st): Steven Jackson ran the ball well, the defense played hard, and Sam Bradford kept the Rams in the game in his NFL debut. The Rams still have some issues and Mark Clayton isn't the answer at wide receiver . . . but the Cardinals needed a 4th quarter score to win this one. Even without the legendary grocery bagger taking the snaps in Arizona, the Cardinals are still a respectable team. Going toe to toe with the Cardinals was impressive for the Rams.

28. Detroit Lions (0-1) (prev: 30th): Cowboys fans and Lions fans have something in common this week. No, it's not that they both had two of the best running backs ever play for them in the 90's. It's not that their teams both wear blue and silver, either. Nor that they both think Roy E. Williams is an overrated sack of horse shit. No. This week, both teams' fans know what it feels like to think they've won the game only to have victory yanked away from them based on an officiating call. At least for Cowboys fans, though, the refs got that call right.

27. Denver Broncos (0-1) (prev: 26th): Well, the Broncos aerial assault looked good in week one but that's not saying much since Denver played one of the worst pass defenses in the league. Tebow didn't get the opportunity but I think even he could have had a good passing day against the Jags.

26. Carolina Panthers (0-1) (prev: 23rd): Some may say that the Panthers defense actually played well. After all, the defense had three interceptions. In reality, this was more a result of ineptitude at receiver for the Giants than skill by the Panthers' secondary. The Panthers feature an inefficient offense led by a poor decision maker and a defense that finds it hard to stop anyone. If Stewart and Williams don't get going, this team is doomed.

25. Arizona Cardinals (1-0) (prev. 24th): I swear I saw Jeff George playing for the Cardinals on Sunday but apparently it was actually Derek Anderson. How can a guy that had such a good season a few years ago be so bad? The Cardinals were missing Beanie Wells in week one and his return will definitely help them out but this offense should be putting up more points than it did. Either Ken Whisenhunt will figure things out or this is going to be a long season in Arizona.

24. Oakland Raiders (0-1) (prev: 21st): Oakland faced off against a tough defense and an unstoppable force in Chris Johnson this past week. While getting beat by the Titans is understandable, the Raiders got completely blown out. Really . . . how do you let Nate Washington beat you for a 56-yard TD reception? Luckily the Raiders have an easier opponent coming to Oakland for week 2 in the battle of ex-L.A. teams.

23. Miami Dolphins (1-0) (prev: 19th): You may ask, how does a team win a game and fall in the rankings? The movement in the rankings don't have to make sense. The Dolphins won but it was much closer than it should have been. All offseason I've heard how Chad Henne is going to have such an amazing season. Well, you know what? Chad Henne might as well be the autographed Kevin Kolb rookie card you bought on eBay 3 months ago for the bargain price of $50.00. Much like that, Henne is fucking garbage.

22. Seattle Seahawks (1-0) (prev: 27th): Raise your hand if Seattle cost you your pool this week or if you picked San Francisco in your survival league. The offense was impressive but what's really interesting to see is that Frank Gore was held to 2.2 yards per carry by the Seahawks. If Seattle's defense is for real, this team could actually be pretty good since Hasselbeck is the king of consistency and game management. For now, I'd like to see them play a few more weeks before I start taking them seriously.

21. San Diego Chargers (prev: 15th): One minute left and the Chargers have the ball inside the red zone against the Chiefs defense, trailing by a touchdown. With Antonio Gates and Malcolm Floyd, the Chargers are sure to score right? Wrong. Aside from that, you've got to wonder -- why is it the Chargers were getting beat by the Chiefs to begin with? Well, the simple answer is that the rest of the AFC West has finally caught up to the Chargers. Philip Rivers is still the quarterback so this team could be dangerous but getting dominated by the Chiefs isn't a good way to start the season.

20. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-0) (prev: 25th): Beating Atlanta was absolutely huge for this team. Every game the Steelers can win without Ben Roethlisberger is great for this team's chances. The offense didn't look great but that's expected with Dennis Dixon starting. The defense looked stout but one has to wonder if that's a result of Atlanta's offense. Atlanta has offensive weapons but may be primed for a disappointing offensive season. Either way, Pittsburgh wins a big, big game in week one.

19. Atlanta Falcons (0-1) (prev: 16th): The Falcons' offense looked flat-out terrible in week one. Michael Turner was shut down, Matt Ryan had tunnel vision focused on Roddy White, and the offense failed to score a touchdown. At the same time, week one held a tough match-up against what should prove to be a very good Steelers defense in Pittsburgh. On the other side of the ball, the Falcon defense appeared to be pretty good. Week two should provide a good gauge for the Falcons when they take on the Cardinals in Atlanta.

18. Philadelphia Eagles (0-1) (prev: 18th): The Eagles starting QB got knocked out of the home opener and that may have been the best thing that could have happened for the Eagles. Michael Vick brought the Eagles back against the Packers and damn-near won the game for Philadelphia. The Eagles defense also turned it up a notch in the 4th quarter against one of the league's best offenses and held the Packers scoreless in the final quarter. Kolb looked terrible but the rest of the team showed positive signs in week one.

17. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-0) (prev: 22nd): Consistent quarterback play and handing the ball off to Maurice Jones-Drew. That can win you a lot of football games. The Jaguars defense is going to have a lot of issues but the old saying that a good offense is the best defense may ring true for Jacksonville. You've got to feel good for David Garrard, too. He seems like one of those football players that is genuinely just a good guy. It's good to see him win a football game.

16. New York Giants (1-0) (prev: 17th): The Giants are still an enigma and the riddle begins with #10. Eli Manning still isn't sure if he wants to be the best quarterback in the league or if he wants to try to break Brett Favre's interception record. In fairness to Eli, though, the three INTs on Sunday were very much related to the Giants receivers. There are still some concerns on defense, though, and the Colts should be a good test for this team.

15. Kansas City Chiefs (1-0) (prev: 20th): Dexter McCluster, what can I say about you that hasn't already been said. You are awesome. But before I get tempted to build a shrine for the guy, let me talk about what really impressed me on Monday Night -- the Chiefs defense. Watching Monday night, it was like all those individual first-round defensive players the Chiefs have taken over the years had finally learned how to play defense as a team. Tamba Hali, Derrick Johnson, Glenn Dorsey, Tyson Jackson, Eric Berry. They all looked great out there. This team is for real.

14. Chicago Bears (1-0) (prev: 12th): Let's face it, this team should have lost on Sunday . . . to the Detroit Lions. That's not saying much for the Bears. The Bears looked pretty good on defense, though. And as expected the Mike Martz offense razzled and dazzled its way to a victory. It will be interesting to see what the offense can do against a real defense when Martz takes the circus to Dallas in week two, though.

13. New York Jets (0-1) (prev: 11th): God, this defense is so good. But Jesus, Mark Sanchez is so freaking bad. And can somebody remind Dustin Keller to take a look at where he's at on the field. In case you weren't watching, Dustin Keller caught a 4th & 10 pass a yard shy of the first down with no defense within 10 yards of him, but he ran out of bounds resulting in a turnover on downs. Oh yeah, this happened with under a minute left in the game. Keller isn't helping very much to counter the stereotype that jocks are big dumb meatheads.

12. Cincinnati Bengals (0-1) (prev: 8th): Batman & Robin couldn't save the day against the Patriots but the Bengals offense did finally start to click in the second half. Is that a result of the Patriots loosening up on defense or will the Bengals carry that success over to week two? One thing is for sure, the Bengals need Benson to get going for this team to win games. His 2.5 yards per carry aren't going to cut it.

11. San Francisco 49ers (0-1) (prev: 10th): Chalk Sunday's loss up as a complete fluke. The 49ers looked terrible in nearly every facet of the game. Did they underestimate the Seahawks? Maybe. It doesn't matter at this point. Singletary will have this team ready for week two. Unfortunately, they have to face off against the defending Superbowl Champs who are coming off 10 days rest.

10. Houston Texans (1-0) (prev: 14th): We've been here before. Houston comes out, puts up a big lead on the Colts, and then squanders that lead in some patently ridiculous manner in the 4th quarter. Wait, the Texans won? Inconceivable! Seriously, it was an impressive victory against the Colts but does anyone think Arian Foster is going to be doing his O.J. Simpson impression for the rest of the season? Beating the Colts is great, but don't jump on this bandwagon too quickly. They're still very unproven.

9. Dallas Cowboys (0-1) (prev: 6th): Watching Sunday night, I gained pleasure knowing that countless Cowboys fans went from a state of euphoria to one of shock (that probably included a string of obscene and profane words) in a matter of seconds when Romo's would-be TD pass to Roy Williams was called back on a holding call in the final seconds of the game. Sure, the Eagles didn't win this week but it makes me feel good to know that the Cowboys are sitting in the cellar with Philadelphia for at least one week.

8. Washington Redskins (1-0) (prev: 13th): Yadda, yadda, yadda. The Redskins are ranked too high. Maybe. Maybe not. I know two things, though. First, the defense looks very good and completely shut down the Cowboys. Second, Donovan McNabb just wins football games. Once this offense really starts rolling and the Shanahan plan goes into full effect, the Redskins will be a force to be reckoned with.

7. New England Patriots (1-0) (prev: 9th): I don't understand how the Patriots defense can shut down Owens and Ochocinco for the meaningful parts of the game but it happened. Yes, Owens and Ochocinco eventually got going but the Patriots defense played very well and that was one of my concerns with this team. On the other side of the ball, we all know what Brady, Welker, and Moss can do. If this defense keeps playing well, the Patriots are legit.

6. Indianapolis Colts (0-1) (prev: 4th): If your defense can't stop the run, you're not going to win a lot of football games. The Colts will always be in games with Peyton Manning but he may not see the field if the Colts can't do something about the run defense. After the embarrassing loss to the Texans, the Colts should be ranked lower but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt for now based on their track record.

5. Minnesota Vikings (0-1) (prev: 1st): Sadly, Brett Favre probably still doesn't see the advantages to going to training camp. The Vikings lost a very winnable game on Thursday and much of the blame has to fall on Favre for shirking his responsibilities to the team in the offseason. The Vikings will have to gel quickly if they want to keep pace in what looks to be a competitive NFC this year.

4. Green Bay Packers (1-0) (prev: 3rd): The Packers came away with a win after week one but the game was much closer than it should have been. After shutting down the Eagles for a large portion of the game, the Packers couldn't stop Michael Vick once Kolb was knocked out of the game. Aside from that, losing Ryan Grant will hurt, but Brandon Jackson should be able to adequately fill in for a few weeks.

3. Tennessee Titans (1-0) (prev: 7th): It was only against the Raiders but the Titans were virtually unstoppable on offense in week one. All signs point to this being a continuation of the streak the Titans pulled off at the end of last year. With Chris Johnson running like a wild man out there, Vince Young making plays with his arm, and the defense shutting down opposing offenses, this team is going to be very, very tough to beat. Gosh, the AFC South is a good conference.

2. Baltimore Ravens (1-0) (prev: 5th): Many people had the Jets as the preseason favorites to win the Superbowl. Nobody told the Baltimore Ravens, though, that they weren't supposed to win in week one. The Ravens added a bunch of weapons on offense in the offseason to help Joe Flacco continue to develop into an elite quarterback. Monday Night, though, the Ravens defense stepped up and showed it's still one of the best defenses in the NFL. Week two provides another big challenge as the Ravens will head to Cincinnati to take on the Bengals. If I were you, I'd keep an eye on that game. It should be a good one.

1. New Orleans Saints (1-0) (prev: 2nd): I should have never doubted the Saints, but part of me thought they'd slump a little in their first game back after the Superbowl. I was partly right as the Saints weren't quite as explosive as they were last year but the Saints managed to win the game. Now with one win under their belt, against one of the best teams in the NFC to boot, the Saints have put all the rumors of a distracted team in the past and look ready to dominate the NFC once again.