[bashansasasasa]

Everyone deals with the trauma of betrayal differently and it can sometimes take some time before a betrayed person has the courage and strength to confront the truth. I kinda think that sometimes, people don't have the capacity to deal with the pain...they are in SO much pain over the betrayal and are reluctant to confront any truth that brings more (even though we all know that the fastest way to wellness is to accept what has happened...but we don`t all get to acceptance fast).

I agree that for whatever reason, there is a lot more defending of cheaters than when I first joined this site. I`m not sure why that is...but I guess all our stories differ and maybe this is just the ebb and flow of things. More senior members would likely have some input on that.

When people defend their cheater, I see it as part of their reluctance to admit that the CS is NOT the person they believed. Also it could be a manifestation fo their low self esteem. OR it could be about the fact that they are not ready to bring in more pain. Either way, I am very tolerant of it because I also struggled to really see my ex for who he was and not for who I wanted him to be and it actually doesn`t bother me AT ALL. Rather, I feel sad for the betrayed person because I know they have lots ahead of them.

KitKat