[FloareTraurne]

Well, it is Thanksgiving evening and I've had an okay day believe it or not. I'm at my daughters home with the entire family here, aunts/uncles, sister and her husband and friends. House full of people--including my STBX if you can believe it.

My daughter wanted to invite him and I told her it would be okay and it was. Of course, it is a bit surreal. We've been corgial and I really I have to admit with the house full I don't notice him that much. Every now and then I'll catch him looking at me or vice versa. Talk about a sad situation. It would be so easy to go and forget everything he did and just pretend things were like they were but it wouldn't be a marriage. More like a convenience.

I miss him and I miss my previous life. And I'm lonely so often. And I really really miss hugging and kissing someone. He was such an actor and such a user. Pretending to love me, accepting all my affection and devotion and then living another life when he wasn't around me.

What kind of evil person is he? He would hug me and then claim to have to work because he would rather spend hours jacking off to po)rn where women fight and hurt each other for his sick thrills. He can't have a soul and certainly doesn't have a conscience.

No, I don't want him back---Just my old life before I knew who he really is inside. At least I don't feel like sobbing all the time anymore. Those two years of crying were exhausting.

Hope everyone else out there survived the holidays.
SIS