[Uojeyak]

I have this feeling inside me constantly. I think somethin is up with my husband. He is workin late a little bit lately. But always makes sure to call from office before he leaves after a late shift.
Might be innocent.
This whole yr, we have had issues with intimacy.
He was hiding from me that he was on **** sites n stuff. And I'm sure he was chattn on webcams, but he won't admit it. He just says they are pop ups.
BUT......this yr he has been shaving more(down there) and extremely concerned with taking weight loss suppliments.
He listens to new music now and I don't know anymore.
We did decide to work on it, and I want so badly to trust him, but I think I am damaging my body with these feelings of torture I have inside!
SOme days I just want to walk out, and not return and leave him wondering.
But then again I don't know for sure.
I know he has a big secret he did not want me knowing about. I have proof that there is a secret....just no proof of what.
All I know is, he was ready to leave me when I was looking at his computer for it and he ripped it away from me and left with it.
he got rid of it.
But he swears there is nothing more.
I can't handle this feeling. I can't sleep at night, and I wake up wearly in the morning thinking about this.
My relationship is tainted with secrets and lies.
He is acting normal now as if nothing happened with lies n such, and I want it to feel the same. I just can't.
Is intuition a good thing to follow, or does it help in situations like this?
SOrry for the long post...I am just so lost, not myself inside anymore. I'm feeling so hurt and lied to