[ggandibazz]

My boyfriend picked Bloo out. I had originally picked out a puppy in another state I found online. We where told we could go see the pups and put a deposit on the one we wanted when they where two weeks old. A day before we where going to go see them the girl emailed me saying that we could not come and see them, at all until they where old enough to leave...that we could money gram her our deposit and then come pick the puppy up when it was ready to leave mom. She told us the mom was too aggressive. Of course we where not going to send this girl money when she could not even prove to us she actually had pups. Yeah she was posting pics online but she could of gotten pictures from anywhere. She also mentioned that this was her last litter, she was not breeding anymore and was working on getting a 501k licence to open a shelter/rescue and yet I found her on another site trying to sell off her older dogs and trying to buy mastiff or other "large breed puppies" It all seemed kind of fishy to me so we just told her never mind we would find a puppy somewhere else. I found a local breeder, talked to him on the phone a few times, my boyfriend went over to his house and picked out a pup and then a couple of days later we went to get Bloo. He said he picked him out because he seemed like the calmest one and he was the runt, he knows I have a soft spot for runts(he's not such a runt now...almost 8 months and already 60lbs!) When we went to pick him up I fell in love with him instantly. Before my boyfriend even pointed out which one was ours I had my heart set on him. It was love at first sight, something with us just clicked instantly.

We got a puppy because we had recently lost a dog...it was a terrible accident. I am still angry/sad about it but Bloo helps with that. We had a cane corso/american bull dog mix. One of my kids left the door open and she was going to run out the door. I grabbed at her collar but she got away and ran into the road. Let me say that I live in an area where the speed limit on most roads is 25 m/h. My road is 25 m/h a school bus was speeding down the road going way faster than the speed limit, and ran her over. I saw the whole thing. It was horrible. She died before I could even call for a ride to the vet(we only have 1 car and my boyfriend had it at work) I was a complete wreck outside screaming and hollering and crying like a maniac, so much so that the people down the street heard me and came to see what was going on. Needless to say I was pretty depressed for awhile after it happened and the kids didn't take it much better. My son's teacher actually commented on his field trip that he made HER cry because he would go to school crying for a few days after it happened. So, Christmas time comes around and my boyfriend decides that a puppy is what everyone needs to get us out of our depression. I wasn't so sure about it at first, I didn't really want another puppy...I was still hurting pretty bad. I knew if he did get one I would take care of him like he deserved but I just wanted to be sad a little longer, I felt like I was betraying her, trying to replace her and it added to the guilt I felt for her death because if I just would of gotten a better grip on her collar or if I was at the door to shut it when my kid walked out or if I was just a little bit faster then she would still be with us. I still miss her so much but I do not regret getting Bloo, I love him dearly and although he has not replaced her, he has helped take away some of the hurt. He helps with the sadness. I sometimes wonder if her loss will ever stop completely hurting. Probably not, but like I said I blame myself so I feel I deserve it.