[Tusethede]

This might help, "Using Ethos, Logos, and Pathos to 'Sell Energy'"
Ethos: Appealing to an audience based on the perceived ethical character of the persuader. The effective persuader strives to establish:
- Trustworthiness- because audiences tend to listen more openly to persuaders who they believe are honest
- Competence- because audiences tend to listen more thoughtfully to evidence and reasoning used by persuaders who the audience members believe to be experts on their subjects
- Goodwill- because audiences tend to listen more favorably to persuaders who demonstrate genuine concern for the well-being of audience members
- Dynamism- because audiences tend to get more enjoyment from listening to persuaders who demonstrate passion and conviction about their subject matter

Logos: Appealing to an audience based on reasoning and critical thinking. The effective persuader uses solid facts to support her/his suggestions.

Pathos: Appealing to an audience based on emotional ties to the issue being discussed. The effective persuader uses language that tastefully stimulates an emotional response within the target audience. Generally, this emotional response acts as the foundation for the audience's final decision. The difficult part about your choice of subject matter is that you're NOT trying to convince, you're simply supporting your opinion with facts. You would actually be better off writing an informative essay while using persuasive tactics within the essay.
It will be easier for you to write informatively, because it will not allow you to get emotional. Yes, you do want emotion in your essay, but you do not want it to cloud the facts with pure emotion.
The problem I see in your introduction is that you are already putting people off to reading your facts. In your introduction, you want to INVITE people and persuade them to continue reading. Personally, if I read your introduction, I would be put off. I would think that the person writing this essay is clearly one sided- the MOST important part of persuasion is ACCEPTING that there is another point of view- you must be able to say WHY that point of view is invalid in order to validate your point.
By alienating people in your introduction, not only do you lead them to these aforementioned conclusions, you also can cause people to not even read the essay at all.
Unrelated to the subject at hand, but related to persuasion- this is my introduction to my persuasive essay on accepting people with HIV/AIDS:
The Encyclopedia Britannica defines HIV as Human Immunodeficiency Virus and AIDS as Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. The key terms in these acronyms are “virus”, “acquired”, and “syndrome”. People all across the world are discriminated against due to minute details in their lives. Some of these details are detested more than others. In order for people living with HIV/AIDS to live a normal life, society must dispel stereotypes such as only gay man can contract the virus, a person can contract HIV/AIDS by living or being around a person with it, and HIV/AIDS positive people do not deserve the same rights as those who are negative. Notice how there is zero emotion in the introduction. I am simply stating facts, stating my position on the matter, and inviting people to read further. WITHIN the essay is where you will see persuasive tactics:
1. Identify your audience's perceived benefits to seeing things your way- a perceived benefit is a way for your audience to can benefits WITHOUT a cost
2. Identify what you can offer that will fulfill those desired benefits
3. Help the audience experience the fulfillment of their perceived benefits

I hope this helps. Let me know if anything doesn't make sense. Good luck!