This might help, "Using Ethos, Logos, and Pathos to 'Sell Energy'" The difficult part about your choice of subject matter is that you're NOT trying to convince, you're simply supporting your opinion with facts. You would actually be better off writing an informative essay while using persuasive tactics within the essay. It will be easier for you to write informatively, because it will not allow you to get emotional. Yes, you do want emotion in your essay, but you do not want it to cloud the facts with pure emotion. The problem I see in your introduction is that you are already putting people off to reading your facts. In your introduction, you want to INVITE people and persuade them to continue reading. Personally, if I read your introduction, I would be put off. I would think that the person writing this essay is clearly one sided- the MOST important part of persuasion is ACCEPTING that there is another point of view- you must be able to say WHY that point of view is invalid in order to validate your point. By alienating people in your introduction, not only do you lead them to these aforementioned conclusions, you also can cause people to not even read the essay at all. Unrelated to the subject at hand, but related to persuasion- this is my introduction to my persuasive essay on accepting people with HIV/AIDS: Notice how there is zero emotion in the introduction. I am simply stating facts, stating my position on the matter, and inviting people to read further. WITHIN the essay is where you will see persuasive tactics: 1. Identify your audience's perceived benefits to seeing things your way- a perceived benefit is a way for your audience to can benefits WITHOUT a cost 2. Identify what you can offer that will fulfill those desired benefits 3. Help the audience experience the fulfillment of their perceived benefits I hope this helps. Let me know if anything doesn't make sense. Good luck!