[pavilionnotebook]

I’ve been a member of the THP for a couple of years now, but re-registered for this special post for reasons of anonymity and paranoia.

First of all, my wife is a wonderful woman. She’s been a terrific mother to our two children – now grown- and has been a great life’s partner. This is not a “my wife’s an unreasonable b*&^h post.” She's not. We've been married for over 25years, and have had very few arguments.

A couple of nights ago we had the latest in an ongoing series of “you love golf more than me” discussions. This one, though, was the most serious. She asked me if I still wanted to be married. She said that she has considered moving out and getting an apartment in our old hometown.

Frankly, she’s got a point. Though I would not say that I love golf more than her, the fact is that I pretty much would rather spend my free time playing golf than doing things with her. We usually have one date night a week where we’ll do the dinner and a movie deal, and my weekend play generally consists of an early a.m. round, but she’s right when she says that most of my time off from work is spent on the golf course. Typically we’ll have dinner together, and then I’ll go out to the course. It’s more of an issue during the summer with the longer days.

We used to live on a golf course, so it actually was a little bit worse, but at that time we lived some place else where she had friends in the neighborhood. A couple of years ago we moved to a different city, and it would be safe to say that mentally she still hasn’t quite made the move. She still goes back “home” a couple times a month for doctors’ appointments and to spend time with her friends. She doesn’t work outside the home, so as she sees it, she spends most of the day at home alone, and at least during the summer, most of the nights as well.

She’s got a point. A good one, actually. She’s more right than wrong. But the fact is that I really don’t want to change my lifestyle. I probably will, but I know I’ll resent it. I will not be happy being a recreational 2-3 times a week player. What I enjoy about playing golf is trying to do it to the best of my ability. I don’t enjoy playing golf; I enjoy playing it well. I know that if I cut down on how much I play, I also will not play it as well, and if that’s the case, I’d just as soon not play at all. My current GHIN handicap is a 0.3, and I know I wouldn’t be happy just hacking the ball around.

This is not a she’s wrong and I’m right deal. If anything, it’s probably the other way around. She didn’t give me an ultimatum – not in so many words anyway – but I know that we can’t go on like this.

Thoughts?