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**adactthrd** · 03-15-2010, 06:36 AM

if 32,768 people manage to die in bowling related accidents I think I would chalk that one up to natural selection.

I am going to go ahead and throw out some random statistics that says at least 32,760 of those will be directly related to alcohol and/or drug use during midnight bowling and leagues. At least 50% will be a result of teenagers out past curfew, and another 25% as a result of elderly bowlers driving through the front entrance of the bowling alley after accidentally putting their cars in drive instead of reverse. based these startling statistics is obvious we should ban anyone under the age of 21 for being immature, 21-45 for being raging alcoholics/drug addicts, and the elderly (60+) for inability to drive, possible cardiac reasons, and possible erections lasting for more than 4 hours when taking Viagra. Those remaining eligiable will only be allowed to bowl after a complete training course on proper use of a ball return system, weekly drug test, and 30 day waiting period between bowling sessions to avoid the risk of possible forearm cramp related death.

03-15-2010, 06:36 AM	#3
adactthrd Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 434 Senior Member	if 32,768 people manage to die in bowling related accidents I think I would chalk that one up to natural selection. I am going to go ahead and throw out some random statistics that says at least 32,760 of those will be directly related to alcohol and/or drug use during midnight bowling and leagues. At least 50% will be a result of teenagers out past curfew, and another 25% as a result of elderly bowlers driving through the front entrance of the bowling alley after accidentally putting their cars in drive instead of reverse. based these startling statistics is obvious we should ban anyone under the age of 21 for being immature, 21-45 for being raging alcoholics/drug addicts, and the elderly (60+) for inability to drive, possible cardiac reasons, and possible erections lasting for more than 4 hours when taking Viagra. Those remaining eligiable will only be allowed to bowl after a complete training course on proper use of a ball return system, weekly drug test, and 30 day waiting period between bowling sessions to avoid the risk of possible forearm cramp related death.
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