I just need some outside opinions, its in white for the people that can give me a genuine reply . Thanks. Ps: It is a LONG post. I'll do my best to tell it as un biased as i can. At the time I had been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years, she had broken it off with me about a year before, she said it was because we wanted "different things" in life (she wanted kids there and then and I didn't plus other things) but we got back together after a week. I should add that a similar thing happened after about 9 or so months but it was for only an hour or two. For a while I had been getting bad feelings about one of her male friends (They spent a fair amount of time together with and without other people around but I trusted her and thought that it was just me being jelous. I know that she did love me very strongly , one of her friends told me that she used to wright a countdown on her hand when I went away for how many days I would be back, which is where I start to get confused. I finally start to change my mind about having a kid and tell her so, she is very happy (looked like this ) at the time i had planned on saving up for a ring and asking her to marry me in about a months time. One night she says that she is going out to dinner (to a place that I like) with just her male friend . I thought thats a bit odd as she didn't ask me if I wanted to go so I said that I'd like to go, she said that I was tired from work and should stay at home but by this time I had had enough of them spending alone time together so I came along anyway. Not long after that she broke up with me. She came by for a sort of final talk, one of the things that she said was "Do you think that I've cheated on you?" to which I said "Not cheated, but getting feelings" She guessed who I was suspecting straight away. She looked me in the eyes and said "I haven't cheated on you or lied to you,I don't have and feelings for him, he is to clingy". I told her about the night the 3 of us went to dinner and that I really felt that she didn't want me there , she said that she wanted to go with him so that they could have a talk about us. There is another lie (different reason than the first time). We sent txts back and forth, one of them was something like "My mind has changed for the better, I'd like to just see each other once a week so it doesn't get to much" I went over there 2 or so days a week for about a month doing sort of normal things that we used to do. Then came my birthday, me and her went to the local sports club that we're a member of for the free birthday dinner promotion they have. That night I stayed at her place, we ended up having sex ( Now to me sex is an emotional connection sort of thing and I would only do it with someone that I love) During "it" I was thinking that she is changing her mind and that she wants to get back together. The next day we were in her room and she gets some txt messages from her male friend. She turns to me and says that she is going to the coast for the day (with just the male friend ) basically gets ready and leaves, not saying much and just leaving me there. The next day she messages me and says "What do you think of us spending all of this time together?" to which I said something like "I think its a good thing" I asked her why we had sex and she said "it takes two to tango and that I didn't have to if I didn't want to." I told her again what it means to me and she said that she did it because she wanted to feel closer to me (insert more confusion here). We sent txts back and forth for a few weeks, one of them was something like "My mind has changed for the better, I'd like to just see each other once a week so it doesn't get to much" I pretty much stopped going over there about here. Now its 4 months after she left me and I had to go to her place for something. His car is in the driveway, I knew as soon as I saw his car that they were together (just a vibe I had) She was cooking him dinner (which she would never do in the way she was) so I ask her mum if they were together, she says that she has no idea (which i didn't buy into, just the way she said it I guess) A few weeks passed and I had to go back for something, and this time both of his cars were there as well as all of his stuff and I mean ALL OF IT. I knew the answer to the question but I asked her mother If he had moved in, she couldn't even look me in the eyes and kind of turned away (something very out of character) saying that "This is between you and her" and " I would have told you if something had being going on behind your back" Of course this made me very upset because she was now with the very guy that I had suspected her mucking around with and the one that she said she denied having any feelings for. Some txting later she says that it "just happened very recently" (of course I didn't buy that at all, she still maintained that she hadn't done anything wrong) She still wanted us to be friends, I told her that I could never be in the same room as him and she said please don't be mad at him (just how she used to do when someone had a go at me to her) This happened in October and I'm still feeling depressed and finding it hard to be happy. I feel that if nothing had gone on behind my back, that she would realise soon enough that she had made a mistake but I need something to change NOW. I can't go on like this. I feel like if I start seeing another girl that it wouldn't be fair on her (being with her just to get over my ex) I feel like I have perment trust issues now aswell. I also feel that if I knew that she had cheated on me (I would be very pissed off though) that I could move on. Some extra stuff: Here are 2 emails she sent me not long before she broke up with me for a week 20 or so days later she sends me this: How can she have such a big change so quickly unless she was lying to me? I have known someone for ages that can get into anyones Myspace page account. At the time I had thought of doing that to see if I could find anything in the PM's of her and her friends accounts that could put me at ease either way. Its probably to late now to find anything but is that something I should do so I can help myself move on ? If anyone is still reading, is there any advise that I can have to help me out and move on? Thanks for your time.