Assalamualkyum Bros & Sisters, I want to get something off my chest. I lost many friends and have had a hard time socializing in college ( just graduated ,ny, 23 y/o) because I didnt want to go to bars/club or even halal places because of the female presence among the muslims( it's amazing how hijabis are there too ) and we all know how it's a subtle way to "mix and meet" . Unfortunately the religious guys dont do anything it seems or have tight cliches of their own. Most salafis are annoying because I dont want to argue about being hanafi or having to explain why he must wash his feet during wudu if he decided to lead a prayer since some of us dont believe that it's sufficient( I digress). I keep reading on this forum how you should be close to Allah(swa) but unfortunately when I see other hangs out and have fun it kind of reminds me of "my" days when I was having fun too. The problem is that Im not liberal enough to accept the western ways here in the US(haram venues) but i'm also no religious enough to just do Islamicy stuff all the time. I watch movies and sports although I dont listen to music that much(no concerts/I dont know what a club looks like even after being in nyc most of my life). How do I make good muslim friends? where do you guys even meet? I have social anciety now and feel left out most of the time. I sometimes wonder who would even notice if I died this moment let alone count the number of true friends at my wedding :/ . I dont know how to go about this and I feel pathetic when asking for friends in my duaa. I am grateful for my family although my cousins live far and I dont have a big family circle anyway. I dont think marrying will help me because I dont want responsibilities(job+bills) on top on what i have already. Alhumdulillah I have trained myself to avoid haram so nowifey-no problem for now ( if I didnt do haram it in college why would I do it now? although I have seen people slip later on...) All the ibadah in the world doesnt quinch the thirst for a friend that I really need right now or maybe im not doing it right. I want to talk to people and share experiences. Sometimes I feel bad for thinking like this because the muslims back home have it much much worse than me but I'm human. I blame it on my upbringing (I moved a lot too) as well since my mother really sheltered me for my "betterment". I give her grief sometimes when she asks why I dont have friends to go to and hang out. The weekends are spent at home doing nothing. I am now considering business during the weekends to keep me busy. SO now ill be working 7 days a week. What kind of life is this anyway? The bros in tabligh jamaat disappear as soon as you stop going with them so I suppose I need better environment yet the TJ is a good one as I am told. It's so weird when I go the masjid and see everyone but very few people my age and even fewer who would talk or say something. The community seems broken. meetup.com has a bunch of desi meetups but they are guitar weilding/skirt wearing folk so I rather not go there what do you guys do to remain socially healthy? Our Rasool (SAW) had friends as well ( the 4 best buddies ). Most of what I wrote is such throwing stuff out there but I suppose muslims reading it would bring about better responses rather than the non-muslims who just tell you to go have "fun and party".