[gundos]

everyone. I am sorry for not replying in time to your kind words. My email update mentioned only one reply and I figured this thread didn't attract anyone. FYI I was born a muslim and for the most part have been practicing although I did miss many salats which I am making up for right now. Reading the comments here made me feel a bit relaxed about the situation I posted about and I believe a lot of muslims are going through this and many of you mentioned going through this phase. I congratulate you on your will power and pray that it grows stronger.

@Shuayb Abdul-Khaaliq- After I finished reading what you wrote I couldn't wait to back and read it again in case I missed something the first time. You are correct in saying that I don't go to the masjid all the time and should probably make that a permanent part of my daily routine for salats. I plan on going with the TJ a few times more with an intention to stay towards deen and make good friends along the way. Alhumdulillah I am grateful that Allah (swa) has given me a loving family but I suppose the environment has it's effects. No matter how much a person stays out of the puddle the rain drops will get you even with an umbrella and that's how it is this dunya. I pray that Allah make the tests easy on us because sometimes they feel overwhelming. I hope your post helps out other bros/sis out there going through the same issues.

@pluto, emias = every muslim is a soldier ( of righteousness)

@Salikah Muslimah , Please dont feel upset as I know what you're going through. It seems that some people grow out of haram and just continue being muslims later but I doubt that it would be the same. The reason why some people stop doing haram is because they are no longer young and energetic enough to afford that lifestyle. Their precious years are wasted in clubs and around filthy people and are totally dead inside. Many non-muslims feel the same way as well and I know a few christians who stopped drinking for this very reason. Mashallah you have friends now so that's awesome. Pray that I find brothers like that too

@Abu Zakir - loneliness is a terrible thing. I try not to let it get to me but sometimes it's hard. Hopefully things will get better.

If you have any recommendations for Islamic books please feel free to add them here. English is preferred.

Once again. Thank you for your kind words. Please keep me in your prayer.