but I never worshiped I have preferred my nafs over ALLAH. Now when i said Ok I am repenting AND when I DID.. I LOST IT, I LOST ALLAH AND MY PROPHET PBUH :'( I DONT DESERVE THEM NOW. This is not shaitaan This is Allah's ADHAAB over me. He is saying, Ok Now YOU ARROGANT BOASTER, NOW YOU ARE COMING AFTER SOOOO MANY YEARS? AND REPENTING? YOU ARE LOST.