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we must all learn to say the right thing the right way

before that we must ponder if even this will be effective

and before this check our intentions and cleanliness of heart

and before this make dua to allah for the best way to approach situations

believe me there will be problems and situations far greater than this to come to all of us

the methodology truly needs to be learned

some elders even say "so you really care for them ,did you make dua,and cry to allah or make nafl fast"

we must all truly learn how to deal with many more situations and tests to come