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Old 04-13-2012, 01:19 PM   #22
seosoftseo

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Oct 2005
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597
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First, let me say that what the OP just described is probably 99% of the Muslim families out there there, may Allah forgive us all and guide us all the right path, Ameen. So, what I'm going to say is not directed towards the OP's family, but rather I'm speaking in a general manner.

I'm going to take a wild guess and make the assumption that the following advice-givers have no experience whatsoever with such a thing at home (or even with someone else close to them). I've taken the liberty to snip the quotes and only keep the pieces which make me think what I just said. Please, please, PLEASE don't take this the wrong way. It is not my intention to make fun or speak ill of anyone here. So once again, please don't take it that way.

My advice try to get your own place or find Muslim[s] who
think like you and see if they need a roommate.
Probably not the best advice to tell the brother to just "leave". If the Prophet and the Sahaba afterwards had that attitude, none of us would be Muslims today. They would just go to a new place, see all the haram things going on, listen to the people make fun of them, and just "leave". Also, that is just not a solution, that is being selfish and running away from the problem. This brother (and anyone in this situation) needs to stick with his family and Insha'Allah through him, one way or another, Allah will open his family's hearts to hidayat. Ameen.

do you get peace t.v. at your house on cable or satellite? it's a much better alternative to TV and 95% of the their content is very excellent. I know Dr. Zakir Naik's style can appeal to many desi people. (presupposing that you are desi here).

also you could try playing mufti Ismail Menk's stories of the prophet's series on youtube to them...maybe they'll get hooked to it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuwGysRUv-k

in one of the first days he talks about the history of music and it's inception. it was actually something that shaytaan brought to the early humans and has stuck with them since.
Again, to those who are involved with the deen, that sounds amazing (and Alhamdulillah it is), but it just doesn't work with the type of family which the OP is talking about. Like the OP said, they would laugh at him.

try make masyura with the jamaat masjid closest to you.
Maybe some sathis from the masjid can visit your family.
or when there's jamaat in khuruj in your locality, can invite your family members to attend to the program.
The advice about making masyura with the jamaat in the Masjid closest to you is Masha'Allah very good and on-point... to the extent of the brother's "personal" development (he can go and spend time with the jamaat at the Masjid to improve himself). However, the whole "having saathis visit your family" thing again doesn't work with this type of family. They would probably just yell at him afterwards about why he's bringing strange men with beards home? (sad but true). Same goes for inviting family members to attend programs in Masjid. If they were the type to accept invitations to attend programs at the Masjid, the OP probably wouldn't be making the post which he did.


Start taleem at home
Even if only for a few minutes everyday at first
Once again, it's not that simple. It is easy to say it from the outside, but being on the inside is completely different and it is just not that simple.

yes, start ta'lim everyday 15 mins.
definitely no peace tv and stuff
Once again, not that simple.

First try to divert their mind from those hindi drama to any other informative channels (science,any cooking channels).Stat playing games with them.let involve them so much they forget their hindi drama timings.
But if you want shortcut,cut the cable wire without informing them see their anxiety.(This is what one of my friend did ,and their parents cursing the cable operator why he cut the netwrk,we have payed monthly charge.She was very happy that day,but works for few days,her brother identified wire cut by her)
Once again, with a family like this, they probably have alarms set for when each of their favorite shows comes on, they probably record everything on DVR, etc... so this brother can play all the "games" in the world with his family, even if they play the "games" with him, they will always stop when it's time for their show, or they will have a "indian serial marathon" later on to "catch up" with what they missed while they were playing these "games". (The following few sentences are not directed towards the OP's family like I said before, rather a general statement): You know how, Alhamdulillah, we stop doing whatever we're doing when it's time for salat, Insha'Allah no matter what it may be, we will not miss our salat? That's how these indian serials and TV programs are being treated in Muslim homes these days. People will not miss them for anything, they will always make time for them and you cannot do anything to make them forget about them. Astaghfirullah. May Allah swt protect us all, Ameen.

Same thing for trying to put on other channels instead, like science/cooking channels, it's just not that simple. Also, I'm not sure if science or cooking channels these days are any better than indian serials. They also contain music, uncovered females, instances where alcohol is being used to cook and being drank, and worse. TV is TV. Unless it's some 100% "Islamic" programming, to me the rest is probably not much different than the others. Same with news channels, turn on CNN and you'll see the type of females they have as the news anchors, how they look/talk.. anyone who Alhamdulillah understands the deen would turn their eyes away and cover their ears (or leave).

As far as the second part about cutting the cable wire, that's self explanatory, bad idea. Though I have always wondered if there is any reward involved if one does such a thing to prevent his family from watching haraam, maybe any scholar reading this can give us their view on this.

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Once again I don't mean to pick on brothers and sisters offering advice, but rather I am trying to present to you the reality of such a situation so Insha'Allah more relevant advice can be offered to the OP and anyone in this situation.

Please forgive me if I said anything to offend you and please ask Allah swt to forgive me as well. May Allah save us all and our families. Ameen.



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