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If the man is good you should let your mother get married. After all a person needs a spouse. i think that you should just accept him into your life and if he tries to mistreat your mother you can always knock him out. This is not to say that i don't feel what you are going through but you said istikhara came out okay and you will eventually need to carry on with your own life plus your mother needs someone. So in a nutshell the answer to your question is don't be selfish. Please forgive me if you feel offended by my post.